If I was on the Biggest loser...I would have won this week!

10.2 pounds...Holy crap!! I new it was going to be decent, but I thought I would lose, 6-8 pounds not all of it plus some. So that puts me at a new low!!! I have officially lost exactly 69 pounds.

In other news thanks to Katie J, and the blog she sent me too, I have some things to think about. I still really want to look my best, and I still have time. I now know what to ask and a little more of what to expect if and when I get a tuck done.

In sad news my parents beagle, the one I picked out my senior year of high school, is dieing. She has cancer and they do not expect her to make it through the summer. I am really sad about this, she is the sweetest funny beagle ever, so in her honor and something that has nothing to do with weight loss I am going to tell a funny Rosie story.

Now I am sure you have all heard beagles are natural born hunters, they have hunting instinct. Well we thought Rosie missed that message, because she never tried to hunt anything. Until one day...My dad loves to take Rosie for walks through the State Park camp ground in the winter, and one day the get out of the car and Rosie immediately goes on point. She smells the air, and start baying like only a beagle can, and then takes off. My dad start chasing after her(swearing I am sure the entire time), it is winter so no one is really camping and my dad follows her tracks, until he comes across what she "hunted".....It was a Boy scout group cooking bacon!

GRRRRRRRRRRR

I have lost 70 pounds, and I look in the mirror and still see my stomach. My HUGE stomach. It seems I have lost 70 pounds everywhere but my stomach. I can fit in size 10 jeans, but a dress I need a size 16.

It came to a boiling point today when I went shopping for a T shirt. We are going to a Buffalo Sabers playoff game on Thursday, and needed a couple new shirts. Ryan and I went to the store I grabbed some women slightly fitted shirts in both large and extra large. The larges were a joke, and the extra large I came out and asked Ryan what he thought, he just shrugged...and knowing my husband I knew what that meant. From Ry it means "I have seen you look worse, but its not great."

We left and I had to buy ANOTHER men's t-shirt. I did it in tears, I am so sick of this huge stomach. I actually spent time researching a tummy tuck. I know I still have fat on my stomach but 50% of what bothers me is loose skin. I have fat for years and this is different. With pants I can even tell the difference between the fat and loose skin, my pants all have rolls hanging over them because of skin, I am not stuffed into pants too small, because if I go any larger they fall off of me, and the 10's fit everywhere else...legs, hips, and butt.

I am just so mad! I did what I was supposed to, I ate right, and worked out, why do I have to have this gross stomach.

Today I actually called and made an appointment to meet with a plastic surgeon, I made it for September. It will be just after my one year anniversary of when I started my weight loss journey. I figure I should be close to goal, and have a healthy BMI. I am also seeing about a breast reduction, I currently wear a 38 G. Running is killing me I have permanent scars on my shoulder where my bra digs into my shoulder.

So that is my vain self coming through, 2 kids and a massive weight loss is doing havoc on my body. I just want to be happy with that body, I have busted my ass to loose the weight I do not want to be embarrassed about myself ever again.

Funny thing is I never was as embarrassed about my 250 pound body as I am right now, but like Ryan reminded me I had reached a point I just stopped caring too.

work and thoughts

You know if I need a pick me up work is were it is at! I work part time as a server at the Cheesecake Factory, horrible food choices but a great please to make a little extra money for the family and not ever have to worry about a babysitter. Friendly reminder tip your server, we only make 4 dollars an hour.

The funny thing about this part time job is the support about my weight loss from the people I work with is amazing. The first person that noticed my weight loss was one of managers, he was the very first person that noticed and did not know I was trying to lose weight he just notice I was getting smaller, in fact now he refers me to "slim." People are always giving me compliments, and telling me how great I look. It seriously helps me stay motivated. One person told me I looked like a went on the biggest loser.

I realised through all of this, all these people at work want to see me succeed. They are all rooting for me. And they are having fun watching me shrink before there very eyes.

I also thought about how rare it is for someone to start and lose a large amount of weight. I have bigger friends who yes of lost weight but never all they needed, but I only know one friend who lost 50+ pounds and kept it off. This is something that is hard, it takes a life long commitment, and when you start this there are times your old life style rears its ugly head(hello 10 pounds), but today I realised I like being the person that can accomplish something HUGE (no pun intended).

So for all of you (and me) on this journey know we are working toward something that most people never even start, and few ever carry on. So I am not going to let the small things get me down, I am going to keep on working because the thinner Katie is emerging as some one who is not only healthier and thinner, but also stronger.

I just hope everyone has the support system I have, my parents my friends my co worker and obviously blogger world have helped me...so Thanks!

Day 3 of eating right! Goals set.

Things are going good, I have managed to stay away from everything bad. Surprising the the large weight gain has motivated me to stay true to me goal.

I was thinking about goals and my goal to lose 100 in 1 year means I have 40 pounds to lose in 5 months. My concern is that may not be the most feasible, so my new goal is to be a healthy BMI by August 11th. That would mean I have 30 pounds to lose, little more realistic. I have to really stick to it and work hard though. I could have easily been in the 170's if I had not slacked so much these last 3 months.

Goals...
1. Be 170 on Sophie's 1st Birthday. I was 270 when I delivered her, so techincally that will be losing 100 pounds in a year=)

2. Run 3 days a week 3-7 miles, run it all as well no slacking.

3. Eat my points the right way, I have less now than ever before, so if I want to not always be hungry I have to eat them right. So that means more veggies, fruit, and not using points to eat crap procesed foods.

4. Drink my water, this is something I really got away from the last few months. I was doing great with water, then I sort of stopped and went back to my diet coke addiction. Now I need to restart the water and have my Diet coke as a special thing not as 90% of the liquid I get.

5. MOVE MORE EAT LESS! just had to state the obvious goal.

6. Be a helathy BMI (160) on my start date anniversary...August 11th.

Blah blah the fall happened

So I never thought I would be one of THOSE people you know the one that gains....well I did almost 10 pounds since my surgery.

no excuses, just going to focus on tracking, and training.

This week I am trying the no sugar...its easy for me to say that now because after my weigh in and my plan for tomorrow I did what I also said I would never do and ate more easter candy. I am on a sugar high, so it is always easy to say no more sugar this week. It is the same as saying I will never smoke again after just finishing a ciggerette. It is all the best of intentions UNTIL the cravings hit.

So here it goes...

working out.

I am taking an easy still. I am doing 30 minute walks, while Riley has her gymnastics class. Maybe there is something wrong with me but unless I am sweating and breathing hard I do not feel that it was productive, and a 30 minute walk does not even come close.

IT makes me think back to what I used to consider "working out" I would walk up the street and back down, about 1.2 miles, and congratulate myself on that, then follow it up with a treat of some kind. I used to love to take the .5 mile walk to the gas station by our house, to go get candy, chocolate, or ice cream, the walk the .5 mile back, and eat about 400 calories in snacks. I would walk around the mall for a couple of hours, and follow it up with a trip to Mrs. Fields. They had the buy 3 items get the fourth free, I would eat 2 right away, bring home the other 2, one for me and one for my husband. I always rewarded my measly exercises with a something bad for me.

I will say I was lucky, Even at my fattest I was able to stay some what fit. I never had knee problems, or back problems. Sure after a long walk my feet would ache but I just thought that everyone felt that way. So when I started actually working out I was able to push myself. I was pretty certain that I could run the 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 15 minutes. Now with the slight set back I am going to up that to 2 hours and 30 minutes.

My entire out look on working out has changed, I love to push myself see how much I can do. I think that is why I chose running, it is something I can see every time I run, I can go faster and farther than ever before.

I love that certain things have changed in my life forever, I can never see eating the way I used to ever again. I also can never see me wanting to not work out, sure I will slack ow and then but these past couple of weeks have proven to myself that it is an important part of my life. I miss it so much!

YAY! 183.8

Loosing a gall bladder was nice to me. I am down 6 pounds! Now my goal is to just keep that this week. I really have to watch what I eat, because exercise is slow, today I walked for 30 minutes on the treadmill, and earned a measly 2 points, better than nothing but still not my 40-60 minute runs.

So goal this week is to maintain the loss from surgery, if I lose great, but it will not ruin anything. Next week I hope that I get the okay from my doctor to run again. It kills me though, today is a gorgeous 55 degree day, and I could not run.

So I start my week at 183.8...68 pounds lost since August 11Th.