Saturday, October 31, 2009

Day by day...

So it has been going good, I can't say great but day by day has not been too bad. I have stayed within my points for the past 3 days, but I still have not worked out. I worked the past two days, one day food running so that counts for something, right??

I am also excited because yesterday at work I wore pants that fit me, and a shirt that my friend Julia gave me when she left for France(that finally fits YAY), and 5 people said something about my weight loss. For the first time in this journey people that had no idea that I was even losing weight noticed it. One manager even asked if I was sick because I lost so much weight in a short time. Dana is now my favorite manager!!

So I am feeling pretty good, but it was slow yesterday and I found my self grabbing fallen french fries. I really need electric shock therapy at work....every time I grab a french fry I get electrocuted=)

So today I will be hitting up the gym, but I did make a yummy big breakfast, eggs, ham, and potato's....12 points total...but oh it was good! For lunch I will have fruit and a veggie burger, and dinner is chicken fajitas. I will end up well below my point value if I stay on plan.

I am taking Riley trick or treating, but I learned of this wonderful plan by a local dentist. On Monday we take all the candy she doesn't want to this dentist, turn it in, Riley gets prizes, for every pound turned in. Then all the candy is sent to the troops in Iraq. So that is were all the extra candy is going. I will let Riley have her M&M's, I will let Ryan pick a few of his favorites to keep in the car....the rest will go to Iraq=)

PS I have no idea why comments are not working...if anyone can tell me what to do is my email...thank you!...edited to add guess it works now!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


So I don't know what is going on with me. I really need to snap out of the funk I am in! I didn't have any clean work out clothes so I didn't go again...Tuesday, Wednesday, and now Thursday I have made excuses. Even as I am typing this I am trying to justify it in my head.

Not only did get out of my workout groove. I also have been cheating myself. I am sure it is obvious to anyone who follows my blog, I can lose consistently 2+ pounds a week, last 2 weeks have been 1.6 and then a small .4, here is the truth I have been sneaking food. I bought candy corn, and every time I walked past the bowl I grabbed a handful, just to let you know I threw away the rest. I also bought a ton of weight watcher ice cream. The 3 point candy bars are amazing....a little to amazing I have eaten 2 and half boxes in 1 week. Not to mention I have been grabbing a bag of my husbands sun chips. To top it all off I have only been tracking about 50% of these things.

I want to say that it stops now, and mean it. I have no idea why I am slumping like this. In fact my husband had to enter the dinner in for me last night. For the first time in 12 weeks he took this active interest because he sees it happening. I need help from you all that have been there done do I snap out?

I have yet to gain any weight but I know myself, if I continue on this path it won't be long till I am so far gone I will just give up yet again.

so the rest of this week I am going to take it like I did my first week. One day at a time. I started this morning with pancakes, lite syrup and banana....4.5 points, Lunch I am going to the mall with Riley for trick or treating, I will go to subway, and get the Buffalo chicken sub. One day at a time right now....

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Congrats to my dad!!

I just want to say congrats to my dad, he is the one that started me on the journey. Today he called me with the great news that he reached goal!!!!! I am so excited for him, not just that this is the size he was when he played High School football, but also health wise. He was at his Doctor and everything is down for him. To me the weight loss for my dad is great but to know he is now so much healthier, and with us for longer makes me get a little teary eyed. We are not a touchy feely family, but this makes me wish I lived closer so I could give him a big hug. I am so glad he encouraged me to do this, it is because of my parents that I really had to look in the mirror and see myself for what I was. It hurt at the time but it feels so great to be doing something about it.

I did only lose .4 pounds, but these past 2 weeks have been a bit slacking, at the gym I have only been running. Only 5 points of exercise a day, which I only did 3 days of. I also dipped into my extra points this week. I also have to stop the sugar, for 10 weeks I was able to control it, lately with sales on both weight watcher ice cream, and the 1 point bars at meetings, I have been eating way too much. So tomorrow when I go shopping its back to tons of fruits and veggies.

Here are a few before and after pictures of my dad...

March 2008

March 2009 him 3 months into weight watchers.

And finally a picture of him from August of 2009. I wish I had a more recent one but you can see the huge transformation here still.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Getting better at this running thing=)

I ran a 5k on the treadmill in 37.23 minutes, 25.23 I ran. I also am picking up the speed of what I run before i was doing 5 miles per hour, now I am running at 5.5, and walking at 4.3 mph.

So the exercise didn't suffer horribly because the girls were sick and I could not take them to child watch. I am 100% sure I chose the right gym if you remember I was deciding between 2 gyms, I chose the more expensive one with child watch I am so glad I did. These past 2 weeks with the sick girls Ryan had excuses 3 days of why he couldn't watch the kids and I could not work out. I love him but if I had joined the cheaper gym I am sure I would be lucky to work out 2 days a week.

Oh I am happy to announce the dress I talked about in this post. No longer fits, it is too small=)) YAY!!!

I also went and tossed all my old clothes out, well I actually gave them to my sister in law, told her if she can't use them then just throw them out. I don't want any 20's or 18's to ever be in the house again!! Size 16's are pretty much working there way out the door as well, I would say mid November they too will be out for good.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


So Ryan took Riley out, and Sophie is still sick and sleeping a ton, So I went hunting in the basement.

I started going through boxes of clothes I used to wear, some recently and some as far back as college. I started thinking how all those clothes ended up in boxes. I talked about it before when you gain weight no one really ever tells you, with the exception of my mom, I gained over 50 pounds in 3 years without anyone saying a word about it. I was going through all the the clothes from that time trying on stuff, some fit some almost fit, and some have a good 20 pounds still. Doing all that I realized how easy it was to lie to myself, I had 2 sweaters i put away I remember putting them away because the dryer shrunk them. Funny how I had wore them the previous winter, washed and dried them but the next fall I brought them out they were to small, not because of me but because of the dryer. I found 2 pairs of pants that didn't have buttons on them. I put them away not because I was so fat the button popped off, but because I lost the button.

Even if I had a moment of honesty with myself an acknowledged that I had gained weight I would still find ways to excuse it, by blaming the babies.

I also realized something else. I never finished I never let myself get as healthy as possible, I would start a diet lose about half the weight I wanted and then be done. One time in my early 20's I did really good I got pretty thin, and was on my way to looking great, looking at my clothes from then, most were 10's, and I found one pair of 8's. I remember buying that size 8. I remember thinking I am there I did it, and 2 months later putting them away because they didn't fit, then in another couple of months putting the 10's away.

I don't want this time to be like that. I have never finished before, that is why when people ask how much I want to lose I say 100 pounds it is a nice even number, but I have no clue what 151 will look like. The last time I weight that much I was a Sophomore in High School. The time I just talked about I was roughly 175, I want to take this journey not to a certain number but a healthy life. That is why the triathlon is important to me. When I complete that it means I have arrived at a level of fitness I have never been at before. Heck if I could complete a triathlon at 212 I would be happy at 212, but I can barely run 20 minutes right now, so I am not happy with it.

So looking through the clothes I also realized that I have never been fit, sure I did get thinner for about 20 minutes, but I was never fit. So I think this time is different because I am not just working toward losing weight.

I notice it also with my dad. I think he will keep the weight off this time because it is not just the number on the scale or the fact he is in a 34 pants for the first time in his adult life. But because I call him and he has to let me go because he is going for a jog. Or he rides his bike to work. The number on the scale is nice, the smaller clothes are great, but they are just a by product to the ultimate goal of fitness.

I guess my whole point of this jumbled blog was...

1. No more excuses, no more from me or anyone else!

2. I will no longer quietly box clothes up, I will be throwing them in the garbage this time when they don't fit!

3. The goal of this journey is fitness, health the amount I weigh is just a number, it will get smaller though the more I focus on the two major goals.

4. There is no end to this, before I fell into that trap, stopping when I bought a pair of size 8 jeans. This time when that happens I will jump up and down and call my mom, and probably cry a little, and then go to the gym and see if I can buy a pair 6 someday too.

40 down ???? to go=)


Yesterday was a great family day. We went to pumpkinville. Riley as you saw in the pictures rode a horse...twice. We picked out our pumpkin, bought a bushel full of apples, and for the first time did NOT buy any homemade fudge. We did get donuts, pumpkin fresh made ones, I had a first I only ate 1. Now before you think I was bad, I counted that donut before I even left, knowing I was going to eat 6 points, I did not allow myself my usual treats of a fiber bar, and ice cream at night. I stayed in my points when we went out to eat I ordered a salad, one with apples, goat cheese, chicken and walnuts, I also changed the dressing and got the lite dressing on the side, so I dipped my salad and ended up eating only half the serving they gave me.

We had two kids in dire need of naps so we didn't get to go shopping as much as we wanted but still all and all it was a great day.

Today is just a normal day, I am going to make a chicken and rice casserole. Lunch is a salad and a smart one meal. Breakfast was the granola, yogurt and banana, I haven't had that in ages I forgot how yummy it is!

Saturday, October 24, 2009


Me in 2008

Pumpkinville today...

Do you see any difference?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I guess I am a size 14....pants!

Okay it is official I can say I only have one pair of 16's that still fit correctly. I have been taking all my size 16 pants on and off without unbuttoning them. I even fit in a size old navy 12 but its a 12.

Now this is all great I am sure some women reading this wonder how at 212 can I wear 14's and 12's....well the answer is how I carry my weight. As most women know when you first lose weight it is always where you need it the least. In my case I have lost most of it in my hips, butt thighs and legs. I carry all my weight in my stomach and chest. I have always worn a dress size 2 sizes larger than my pans size, so while I may be a 14 in pants I am still an size 18 when it comes to dresses. I have a friend and she is the exact opposite she has a teeny tiny little waist, and hips, butt and thighs, and when she would gain her hips butt and thighs would get bigger only making her waist look smaller. Me when I gain my stomach gets huge, my chest and shoulders carry it all, so I look extremely top heavy. My friend and I would always make jokes, if we took my bottom half and her top half even at out fattest we would have a great figure.

So to me I still say I am an 18, because the bigger number makes more sense, I tried on a 14 dress I had in my basement, it is not even close, and I mean it is like tight with just putting it on, the zipper is about 8 inches apart.....So that is my spring goal, in 6 months I would like to take a picture of me in that dress...zipped up even. I will just tell you though the dress is not very attractive and I would probably never wear it out in public, and once I can fit in it, it will be donated, but since I used to avoid dresses because buying a dress 2 sizes bigger than my pants was depressing, it is the only dress I can say I once fit in, and that was at my skinniest in adult life. So here is to my April 22nd post!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


So I have a new good dinner

Today I made gumbo. Oh it is so good. I bought a cook book from Weight watchers and have tried about 12 recipes and only one I wouldn't make again. Some are amazing...Chicken Carbonara, Salisbury steak, Mac and cheese, and now gumbo are just a few of my favorites.

One thing about eating healthy is I am trying new recipes like crazy. I used to make the same 5 meals over and over and over. Now they were all great, but Ryan was in charge of variety. Now I am doing it. I swear with some of the meals I make it does not even feel like I am watching what I eat. Today's dinner had 5 points a serving, I ate 1 serving before work and one now. True that a serving now is and ACTUAL serving not half the dish=)

I did have to cancel childcare this week at the YMCA, Riley now has the brunt of the sickness, today, and tomorrow I will not be able to work out. I have both kids all day and when Ryan gets home I have to go to work, Friday I will be able to work out regardless of whether the kids are too sick for childcare or not. I actually miss running, okay let me rephrase I don't miss the running, I miss the feeling I get when I finish.

So I am still grateful for the 1.6 weight loss but I am going to work to have a 3+ week. I still want to see a 1 in front of my weight by thanksgiving. It will be the first time my parents will see me in over 30 pounds, and I would like them see some serious results. I also want to fit into all my mom's old clothes. Nothing worse than being to fat to wear someone else's fat clothes!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

guess I am going to thank the nursing god's...

I lost this week

1.6 pounds

I guess I wasn't as bad as I thought, or maybe its the nursing, or maybe....I don't know I really didn't deserve it. But I will not test the scale again. I worked out and ate better today, tomorrow the same if I am really good next week I will get to take a 210 picture=)

Thanks all for the support.

Today I see the damage.

Today is weigh in day. The week has not been my best, I ate crap all day Wednesday. Then 2 sick babies kept me from working out(stupid excuse!!), I only worked out 3 days. I can't say I ate bad but I definitely was not as diligent as I should have been. I went over my weekly 35 points, and only had 18 activity points.

So today I will more than likely have a weight gain, it will be interesting to see how much 1 bad week will hurt. I have no idea why I let myself do this, it is not like it was a party week, or a holiday, or that I had a bad weigh in week last week, because none of those are true. I will say this regardless of what the scale says I have some things I will do differently this week.

1. I will work out 5 days, no excuses!

2.I will not buy weight watcher 1 point bars(I ate the entire box in 2 days again!)

3. I will eat more "green diamond" foods(it is a weight watcher thing)

4. I will work on controlling portion sizes. Eat seconds of veggies and salad not the main course.

Today was the start of my new week, I ate fruit for breakfast, a chicken salad loaded with veggies, 1/3 a chicken breast, salsa, and yogurt ranch for lunch. I will have some veggies as my later snack, then I am going to work out when Ryan gets home. Then it will be time to pay the piper, and step on the scale. I feel bad I am resorting to no extra sodium(aka no smart one meals or soup), I will wear khakis instead of jeans. I once said if I have to resort to tricks and hope the scale is forgiving I didn't work hard enough. It is so true this week I have never dreaded a weigh in day more.

To be continued

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm Vitalicious...and You Can Be Too! (GIVEAWAY!)

Just want to let everyone know Jenn has an awesome give away going!!

On second thought don't go there a better chance for me to win=)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Cost of eating healthy part 2

So back to considering eating healthy. I remember when Ryan and I both would work and we would just grab a pizza or a meal from McDonald's, Mighty taco, or even subs. All these would be cheap, fast food, around 20 dollars.

Now I get going out and grabbing something cheap and quick is impossible....wait no that's not right. Today at the the grocery store I was walking around picking things up and saw the perfect fast food! It is healthy, cheap, it is the Rotisserie Chickens, only 4.99. I also figured a 1.99 bag of frozen steamed veggies and a bag of 99 cent salad would round out the perfect quick and easy meal. An entire meal for everyone under 10 dollars!?!?! You can even do that at McDonald's.

So now I guess the only valid reason I can see for complaining about the cost of eating healthy would be lean meats are more. But I still see ways around that did you know that right now pork is insanely cheap, silly people seem to think swine flu comes from eating pork! So the cost of pork is sometimes half or even less than it was 1 year ago. Lean pork is just as good for you as chicken. So yes 95% lean meat is more than 80%...but that is not the only option out there.

And finally I will point out one more thing, eating healthy, eating less, and moving more always ends up a cheaper option, the cost of health care deductibles these days are insane!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Cost of eating healthy!

I am sick to death of hearing people say how expensive it is to eat healthy. I said that so much in the past and you know what I think about that now, its bull!

A bag of chips is the same price as a 3 lbs bag of apples right now. If i went to the farm and picked them even cheaper. The local farm here has pick your own apples .52 cents a pound. Pears are 3 dollars for a 3 pound bag. Add to the fact I could eat an entire bag of chips in 1 hour, and a bag of apples last me and my family 3 days.

I will also point out sure boxed potato au gratin, are 2.69 a box, a bag of frozen veggies are 1.99 some even cheaper. Certain in season fresh veggies are cheap as well. I can always get broccoli for 99 cents a pound. Fresh green beans I get a 3 pound bag for five dollars.

Lean meats, I will give you are more than the fattier meats, but I go first thing in the morning and can get day old value packs. I buy big amounts put in freezer bags. I also look out for sales I bought so much boneless skinless chicken breast when it was 1.39 a pound. So yes I will give you this is slightly more expensive but if done smartly it can be totally reasonable.

Now the one place where I have noticed eating healthy is more expensive is with "healthy snacks." Yes my weight watcher ice cream bars are insanely more than a pint of ice cream, but I eat 1 box a week, not the entire pint in 2 days. I also spend less on snacks my new ones are the fruits I mentioned before. So yes snack for junky snack the 100 calorie versions are more than the calorie laden ones, but I shouldn't be eating either.

I do all my shopping on Monday, then I do a supplement shopping trip on Thursday or Friday. I spend the same if not less than I used to before my weight watcher days. I just have more of the good stuff in my cart, I don't spend 1/2 of my grocery money on stuff I will just binge on. I do let myself have 1 box of weight watcher ice cream bars, 1 box of weight watcher portioned thin pretzel chips, 1 box of fiber bars a week, and sometimes like last week I bought 100 calorie hostess bars. Those are my treats I get every Monday, when they are gone I don't get anymore.

So I have to say to those that say the cost of eating well is too expensive you are just looking for an excuse. I used to say that so I know, My family of 3(4 if you count the baby but she is still just "eating boobies")we spend 100 dollars or less a week, and that includes all meals for all of us, Ryan's lunches, and 5 dinners a week( two days a week we just have left overs or Ryan fends for himself).

Shopping this way makes binging less likely. I still binged this week but instead of consuming 5000 calories, I consumed roughly 1300, not great but so much better than it could have been. I was also able to keep not only binging down but also was able to stay within my points.

I am still worried about this weeks weigh in...just 3 days to see how much damage I did=(

Same ole same ole...

Today was the same ole, eating, work out and work. Ryan took the girls to his parents house so I was home alone, I was so good it was scary. I really really am hoping that my screw up a few days ago does not cause me to gain. I shouldn't I am still under in points. But the scale at the YMCA isn't being too friendly.

The past few days I have been thinking about how I used to fool myself, I never have looked in the mirror and saw someone fat when I weighed 251, I thought looked the same as when I moved here at 195. Now that I let myself be in pictures(the mirror can lie, pictures can't) I see myself for what I really am, and now I am disgusted. . Funny that at 251 I was more confident than I am now at 213. I am now more aware that I am the fat one at work, that at the gym I look ridiculous trying to run on the treadmill, and in spinning class I am at least 50 pounds heavier than every person there, I am so very aware that I weigh 33 pounds more than my husband. All these things I would ignore, now 38 pounds lighter they bug me to no end.

I just hate so much right now, I hate that I crave foods, that sometimes I eat and eat and eat, past the point of full, I hate that I do not look like the woman my husband deserves. I hate that at work when people ask a table of mine "who is your server?" people say "oh I forgot her name she is the bigger girl." I am feeling so down about so much, after a great weigh in last week, I should be doing great, but instead I feel blah.

I want to see myself as someone in good shape, but just when I feel like I am getting there I catch a photo of myself, and want to cry. I have done so good 38 pounds that is awesome, but yet I have at least 62 pounds more to lose.

I guess the whole point of all this, is that at 250 I stopped caring, I could ignore it, I was fat who cares. Now after 10 weeks of hard work and 38 pounds lost I feel like I am still fat, I am still out of shape and no one even notices. At least at 250 I was enjoying tons of yummy foods, at 213 I eat healthy, and watch everything. I have no idea if this even makes sense to anyone.

Oh but I will say a comment left by Nay did make my day, I right this blog so I can stay accountable, so that people I know and don't know can read about my success and times I fail. I did it for me I never thought that I would inspire someone, and thanks Nay for saying that. This week has been tough for me, and its nice to know that I did something right. Hopefully soon I will run 8 min with you. I have 2 more times of 5 min runs, next it will be 6 min runs.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What I am noticing in my family.

Today I asked Riley, my 2 year old what she wanted for breakfast, she usually tells me a doughnut, then I tell her that is on Sundays only with daddy. Today she said, yogurt and an apple. I am so excited because I feel she is emulating my good decisions. This is what I want most out of all the struggles, I want my daughters to benefit from a healthy mother, for them to never struggle to make food choices. Riley LOVES apples, she likes them plain, with peanut butter, and today she wanted just a little sprinkle of cinnamon sugar. It really makes me feel good that she at 2 years old is making healthy food choices and doesn't even know it, it is just second nature to her.

Two months ago we always had doughnuts, muffins, sugary cereal, pop tarts, in the house. I would make french toast for Riley and I at least twice a week, now I grew up eating my french with a tablespoon of powdered sugar folded in each one. I was teaching Riley that.

For lunch Riley still has peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but now as a side she has piece of fruit of some kind with it. She never gets chips, usually we make a 100 calorie bag of popcorn to share, she loves that popcorn! She no longer has chicken nuggets and french fries every time we go out. The one day a week we do go out for lunch, she gets a Panera sandwich, yogurt, and water.

For dinner she eats what we eat, and is actually eating all her veggies these days. I used to make a veggie with the meal maybe 1 out of every 3 dinners, now there is veggies with EVERY meal. Riley at first ignored that portion on her plate, now she has seen Ryan and I eat them she has started as well. She even asked for more green bean "french fries."

I absolutely love watching my good food choices, making good impressions on my daughter. Sure she can still have her occasional treat, Ryan and Riley go out every Sunday to get a newspaper and a doughnut, that does not bother me, she can learn that a treat is something she can enjoy. as long as it is not an every day thing.

So yes I screwed up yesterday, then reading blogs I read one of my fav's, and she had a post about what is harder to be fat or to be thin. It really hit close to home after last night. Because it is true it is hard to turn down certain foods for me, but I would rather be the one that struggles to do it now, so that my daughters never have to struggle they make the right choices out of habit.

Off to the gym...spinning and then running...going to kick my own ass a little today=)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Don't want to talk about today.

Okay this is hard, I started this blog with the idea it will keep me accountable, the thing is I told everyone about it, my family friends and weight watcher bloggers all read it. The weight watcher bloggers I am not to worried about you all get it. My family, parents, and friends I never want to let down. My parents have been so incredibly supportive, I have had friends give me clothes for the future, I have had people I have barely ever talked to at work come up and congratulate me on my journey. Blogging world have been been there supporting me, Diane, Jenn, Learning to be less, Laura, and Jack, just to name a few. That is why this post is so difficult....

In 10 weeks I have been good, there have been times I ate things that weren't weight loss friendly, but I prepared for it by eating less during the day. I have eaten out and ordered the right things, and once even thought I was ordering good, turns out I was wrong, but I did do it with the best of intentions.

Today I not only ate all my points, but I ate all but 18 weekly points. If we are counting that is 55 points I ate today. I ate a good normal breakfast(4.5 points with oatmeal and an apple), then for lunch we went to Pizza Hut, for there buffet. To be honest I did better than I had in the past, 3 pieces of thin slice pepperoni pizza, 1 bread stick and 1 slice of apple dessert pizza(24 points). Dinner I had all intentions of just eating a smart one meal then I would have stayed in my points value, but no the left over healthy beef stroganoff was calling my name, after weight it I knew it was 1 and half servings so 11 points there.

So now if you are counting we are at 39.5 points only 1.5 points over my daily allowed, if I would have just stopped then...nope.

Riley get M & M's every time she uses the potty, for 10 weeks I have not touched a single M & M, today I cracked 1 that fell became 1 handful, 1 handful became a second much larger one, so I am counting that as 1 bag of M &M's 5 points.

Then I don't know why but I ate 2 packs of 100 calorie hostess treats(3.5 points), 1 bag of weight watcher pizza pretzel thins(2 points), 1 weight watcher ice cream(2 points), a fruit snack(2 points), and deli ham, yes deli ham straight up don't ask(3 points)....

For the grand total of 55 points today. I am so ashamed even while doing it I kept asking why, and couldn't answer why. I still have no idea, its not like any trigger happened that made me eat and eat. It could be Ryan is working nights, so he is sleeping in late waking up when the girls pretty much go down for a nap and leaves just before they wake up, so I have little to no breaks, nap time is when I clean, when Ryan comes home is when I take a few moments to myself. It could be Sophie is going through a growth spurt so she is nursing every 2 hours, so I am more hungry than normal. It could be I just am so bored even with both girls here that I am turning to food like I used to. Or it could be without Ryan here at night I don't have anyone "watching" me so i can just eat and eat.

It probably is all of the above. I need to find something to do at night till Ryan is back on days.

There is no excuse for what happened today, I feel like crap, like I just gained 10 pounds. I don't want any oh its okay its only one day crap, because I can not justify this. I worked my ass off for 10 weeks and I don't want to have anyone justify this for me. I screwed up, tomorrow I will be at the gym. My goal is to work out, make up the extra points I ate, plus some so that means instead of 1 hour a day I am going to work out 75-90 minutes a day.

So that was my f*ck up day!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It is a good weigh in week!

So I had to take off working out 3 days in a row, and I ate an entire box 1 point snack bars in 2 days. Yesterday I tracked everything at night, may or may not forgetting a thing or two. I ate McDonald's snack wraps(2 with no cheese) late at night when I got out of work.

And yet I lost big...4.8 pounds in one week!

The good is that I did work out 4 days this week, I stayed in my points, and I tried some new recipes. One last night was awesome tuna casserole, a healthy one. Today I am trying a healthy version of Beef Strognoff. I am having fun trying all these new recipes.

Second I left the girls with Ryan and worked out, I can't take them to the gym (too sick for childcare), but I needed out. So I went on the treadmill again, 20 min walk and 19 min 30 second run. I did the 5k loop under 40 minutes today. YAYAYA!! I am doing the 5min walk 5 min run rotation for 3 more times, then I will do a 4 min walk and 6 minute run.

All this is so exciting but, I am still not seeing it. And Ryan is still not really noticing it either. In fact only 2 people have even mentioned my weight loss and both knew I was working at it. i read a blog (learning to be less) about doing it for myself but at the same time I do want some notice. I have dropped 38 pounds and still have a long road in front of me I just want someone to notice that I have started.

Oh I do want to say I got some free transition clothes, my friend Renee gave me some of her sisters clothes. All are size 11/12, not wearable right now but with some work they will be by Christmas. My mom is also bringing some 14's and 12's. I should be able to fit in all the 14's at Thanksgiving, the twelves Christmas. We are 10 weeks away from Christmas , I want to lose 23.6 pounds in that 10 weeks, which would bring me to 190. The weight I was when I met Ryan, I think I was actually 193, but I like even numbers on the scale. Thanksgiving I want to see onderland.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Sick girls=(

So both my girls are sick,. They are going to the doctor tomorrow, Sophie's temp is about 102-103, the doctor says if it goes over 104 then be worried but with some Tylenol I have gotten it to 101. I hate sick babies. Riley is also not doing so hot, she has a temp of around 101, and has diarrhea and cold like symptoms.

Needless to say, workouts are not happening, and eating is a out of necessity not counting much at the moment. So that is my update...poor girls.

Saturday, October 10, 2009


Thank you to all that commented on my running. I so appreciate that people get it. To me the running, working out and is more important than the weight loss. I have known plenty of thin women that aren't in shape, I want to be both, in shape and thin.

Right now I am eating a new favorite of mine. If I have a few points left over at the end of the night I go back to this childhood favorite, a cut up apple with peanut butter. During my heavy days I never really touched peanut butter but now its a nice treat, the apple takes care of the sweet craving and the peanut butter the salty.

Today i did not work out, Ryan made me take a break he said that too much could be bad, so I took today off, but I did work. Saturday at the Cheesecake Factory is busy busy, so I did plenty of running around. But just a kindly reminder please remember to tip your server, we only make 4.25 an hour(2.65 if you live in Michgan) the tip is needed. I am also happy to note my Spartans won again today, I love when they win its one more week I can hang the flag outside! It is a rare accomplishment that they win 2 weeks in a row!

That is all that is really going on, I am excited to go workout tomorrow to see if I can do the run/jog combo again of if it was just a one time thing.

Friday, October 9, 2009

I can run!

I can run, not 90 seconds but actually run. I am sure there were times in my life in the past I could have but I have NEVER EVER RUN. I played sports but never ran for the sake of running. Today I went in to do the 5k loop on the treadmill with the idea of every 5 minutes I would run 90 seconds. The first round I walked 5 minutes bumped up the treadmill and started running, hit 90 seconds told myself lets go to 2 minutes, then 2 and half minutes, then kept pushing, before I knew it I had ran for 5 minutes. I slowed the treadmill to a fast walk (4.2 mph)and walked for 5 minutes, then I ran, and surprised myself when I made it 5 minutes again. Turned it down to 4.2 and once again walked, 5 min and ran 5 min. Then I was on the final part of the 5 k, and only 10 minutes, I did it once more. This time it was the hardest I wanted to give it, but I didn't I ran.

So if you got all that I did a 5k in 40 minutes and 30 seconds. Twenty minutes of that time was running! I will do my 5k on the treadmill like this for a week, then go for 4 minutes walking and 6 minutes running, then 3/7, and 2/8 1/9...and soon run it all!


Thursday, October 8, 2009

What happened last night....

So I post daily, its my way to keep accountable, well yesterday in case you didn't notice I didn't. Oh I was bad, not eating but I spent the entire day when I had free time reading the entire Twilight book. My friend lent me the book and I have never been able to start a book and put it down if I get into it.

Mainly yesterday was reading, but I wasn't perfect with my eating. I realized I have to stop buying snacks. I keep eating them, I am having some habits following me, true I don't go over my points but I don't think you supposed to eat 5 one point weight watcher bars plus 1 smartones brownie Sunday and two 100 calorie Hostess snack cakes. Yes I did that all, I know I was within my points but still that is a crap load of sugar. I think part is Ryan is working nights so when the kids go to bed I go into mindless eating mode. I had 14 points left last night and I used them on crap! I think I am still frustrated with the loss I had this week.

I know 2.6 is good, but it was the same as the previous week, when I did not exercise. Last week, with the exception of the movie popcorn, I focused on eating most my points the right way with fruits, veggies and lean meats. So with working out+eating right I lost exactly the same as the previous week when I didn't watch those things as closely. So the past 2 days I have been pouting and eating my points, but making bad decisions with them.

That stops NOW! I forcing myself out of this funk! I will not let this get me down, because if a 2.6 weight loss throws me off track what will I do when things really start slowing down, or even worse I hit a plateau. So I not letting tomorrow be the same, I am going to pumpkinville with my family I will stock up on apples again.

So that's that, I read the entire Twilight book, and I ate crap for two days. I will say that I did stay on track with working out.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

2.6 again

So the weight loss I thought I would have didn't happen...I thought I would have a 5 pound week. Instead it was down 2.6, not bad but I was all excited for a big one=(

Night all=)

Conversation with My fat self

My fat self shall be here by Known as...MFS

A thinner Katie shall be here by known as....ATK

ATK...Whew today's workout really was tough, but I ran today actually ran on the treadmill. And biked I really want this triathlon.

MFS... So all this work out now we can go get something to eat right?

ATK..Well yes, I do need to go grocery shopping

MFS... Sweet I am starving after that workout, how about a Danny's favorite Sub, Mmmm. Just think Capicola ham, Salami, ham cheese, mayo, and oil! We can get it toasted, its 14 inches, and if you want to be light we can share it with Ryan!

ATK...umm NO! if we got anything it would be a turkey sub no cheese and with Mustard! But today is weigh in day so not happening! Let's stick to the list and if we have a good weight in I will buy you a special treat.

MFS...Oh yes all this Halloween candy? Oeros??? Oh you know how we LOVE those orange slice candy, Remember the the days we would eat an entire pound in one day? Lets do it ATK!

ATK...Well I was thinking more of a treat like Apple chips. They are so good you know, and if we eat the entire bag we still are being good.

MFS....WTF?!?!?!?! Apple chips, seriously! Common ATK just a little treat remember how good that movie popcorn was???

ATK...Yeah, it was good, but remember all the whining you have been doing about the workouts? I am on the treadmill and you cry for me to slow down, when I bump it up to jog, you beg to turn it down early? The movie popcorn was a one time treat, I listened to you that time, but I don't want to make it a habit, you cry about workouts way too much!

MFS...Well my legs hurt and everyone is better than me, and running kinda sucks can we do something easier I think I would like that!

ATK...Yes we can do yoga, but that won't burn calories, and we need that we are fat remember?

MFS...Ah yes I miss those days, Oh I liked be fat. I like the Pasta's with cream sauce not the skim milk you make now, I like fast food, I like Sunday donuts when we would eat 3, Oh why are you doing this to me?? I want to eat and eat whatever I want!

ATK...NO NO NO SHUT UP! I like this Katie that is slowly emerging, and I want to be in shape more than I want a cheeseburger.

MFS...Okay ATK you win this round but I will be back.

This is the conversation that goes on in my head on a daily basis. I really wish MFS would just go away, she has quieted some but still there everyday.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I am feeling good about tomorrow

So I have worked out a crap load this week...Thursday I joined the gym, I worked out Thursday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and tomorrow is Spinning hell, but do it I will! I checked the scale at the Y and if it is the same as WW's scale I am looking at a good week. But I will not tell you what it says just in case it was wrong.

Today I also went to Bounce Magic with Riley. I had so much fun actually doing it all with her, running around, bouncing, climbing and not sitting telling her to "go play." The weight loss has given me something else, I can chase Riley, and keep up and be part of her life NOT sit on the sidelines watching her play.

So tomorrow is spinning class, and the reason I hate it is because I can't do it, I just can't keep up, not even a little. If I am not good or the best right off the bat, I quit. This time I will not let it beat me, first I need it for the triathlon, second the day I can finish a class doing all the teacher is doing will mean I am no longer out of shape. I want that satisfaction.

Dieting is going good I am about to grab my special treat, a Skinny cow ice cream bar. I have 4 points left over and one is just calling my name!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Work out work and under points again...

Today I woke up and headed out for my work out. I pushed myself on the treadmill today and did 3 miles(5k) in 43 minutes. I thought that was great until I talked to my dad and he just did an actual 5 k in 37 minutes, I would have gotten my but kicked by my dad! So now I am really really going to get this down! i can't let my dad beat me, we can be the same but he can't beat me=) I also did my bike hell for 20 minutes. I really hate the bike it keeps reminding me how over weight, and out of shape I am. I will keep plugging along on it, but I still hate it, and spinning is on Tuesday...I will hate that too! I will go, and look like the fat out of shape women I am.

So I can't wait till I am not only thin, but in shape too! The last time I lost a bunch of weight and was thin, I was also a smoker, and I may have been thin but I was not in shape at all. So to me the exercise is almost more important than the weight loss.

So I came home, play with the cutest girls in the world, and then went to work. I brought and apple and a fiber bar with me, but I am still under my points. I always am under after working, I am a server its a busy Sunday its not like I can just take a break to have a healthy snack. I eat before I go, and when I get home, but for that time at work I just can't....anyone have an idea about what I should do? I am 10 points under my goal points, I don't want to make this a habit because I do not want it to affect my milk supply.

Oh but Ryan did make and AMAZING dinner again, Pork tenderloin with a pear sauce, mashed sweet potato's, carrots, salad, and pita garlic bread. It was so good!

Tomorrow I am going back to the gym to face the evil bike, and work on that know it does feel good though, well after it feels good, during I hate it!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

New toy and 220 pictures!

My pictures from 220. I promised to take pictures every 10 pounds so I could see a difference, you know I don't see it in these yet.
Oh and the the first picture is the new trailer/jogging stroller. I am so excited I put it together today when it was nice outside, told Riley we would go for a ride when daddy got home and could take Sophie, she is too small for it right now. Unfortunately by the time Ryan came home, it was raining AGAIN!
I also made an awesome dinner, so good for me and so good tasting. I made veggie marinara pasta. I loaded up the marinara with zucchini both yellow and green, green peppers, and onion, added fat free mozzarella cubes, and put it over angel hair pasta. I ate so much, and still only used 11 points for dinner. For lunch I had a banana, and turkey sandwich. Breakfast was an apple and yogurt. I ate a fiber bar, 100 calorie hostess cakes as my snacks. And late night dessert of Smart Ones brownie sundae. And I have only used 29 points, I am going to go to bed with 9 still available. I am not hungry, so I will not eat for the sake of eating!
Tomorrow I am going to the gym early in the morning to work off a few more Popcorn spurge points. And then I have to go to work=(


Totally off the weight loss topic but

MICHIGAN STATE BEAT MICHIGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


now back to our regular scheduled program.....

55 points yesterday!

Wow yesterday was a day I fell off the wagon, and used my flex points galore! Now I get 38 points a day, so it wasn't totally crazy. How did this happen? Well I was good ate a normal amount of food all day, then at night my husband and I had a rare date night. We went to see The Invention of Lying. Now I LOVE movie popcorn, my idea of heaven would be movie popcorn for breakfast lunch and dinner....LOVELOVELOVE it! Get the idea, I am so obsessed with it that movies don't get me excited its the popcorn at the movies I get excited about, so now you understand my love for it.

So I did it, I paid my 12 dollars for a "medium" popcorn...17 points! I will say that I only ate about half of it, I gave it to Ryan to keep me from mindlessly eating it. But it did have butter, delicious so bad for you butter Mmmmm. So yeah, then Ryan and I went out for appetizers and beer. Well I skipped the appetizers and had 3 beers, another 6 points. So 23 points of NOTHING!

So today I went and worked out, I pushed myself on the treadmill. I even ran, my heart rate went up so high the machine started "yelling" at me. I then biked some, and did the elliptical. I did a 75 minute work out. And all i got out of it is 8 points! So that means tomorrow before work I am going to work out again, and if I do it Monday and Tuesday I can earn back that 23 points before weigh in.

Yes I shouldn't have done it but at the same time, it was worth it to me. And I have never not once gone over my points value for the week. And even with this I still haven't, I want to make up the flex points I used with activity ones, mainly because I want to loose big, have a 2lb+ weight loss this week. I really really want to be under 200 by thanksgiving and when my parents get here.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Advice from my big brother

Thanks James ! He wrote something very true in my comments when I whined about Ryan. Relationships change when you change. He wrote it much better than that but that is the can read it yourself. So I told Ryan what I needed I am a woman and sometimes, wrongly, I expect Ryan to read my mind. To just do things, sure I wish he would think of things on his own but this time I told him. This is a change for him. He may be in great shape but he had to make changes to accommodate me, and most of them he did not complain about. Sooo we talked, okay I talked, and I think he now understands the role I need him to take in all this.

Will Ryan ever jump up and down giddy with excitement for me? No, but I think he will now show a little more excitement/pride in me when I lose. He will also be there for me if I stumble. I love my husband he is really a great guy, and with me making these changes I think he got a little worried that I wouldn't be the same Katie. But even if I do become more confident, more sure of myself, I will still always need him, he is my anchor, my sail, my starboard and my port....okay he will find that funny not sure if anyone else will get it=)

Spinning kicked my ass HARD!

Okay just when I was starting to feel great about the weight loss and happy I could walk 5 miles with out issue...I took a spinning class! If I needed a reminder that I am still fat and I still have a ton of work to do this was it. I realized 10 minutes into the 35 min class that there was absolutely no way I was going to keep up, so I made my goal to just keep pedaling non stop through the class, and try.

So I did, standing and pedaling is the hardest for me I think the huge amounts of extra weight I carry make it extra hard. I pushed through some of it, but to be honest most of the time I just pedaled at a medium resistance, hard enough that my legs were burning, and I had massive amounts of sweat pouring down my face. Then after that class I made myself hop on a treadmill for 15 min/100 calories/1 mile...I had to reach at least all those goals before I would get off, and you know I did it was kind of funny, I got them all around the same time too. So that was my work out. And Riley and Sophie did very well in Childcare so that was nice. Riley even came to visit me when I was biking she even said "mommy i saw you exercising, mommy on the bike exercising" it was cute to me=)

So about my whine yesterday, I was thinking my poor husband has it so hard too. He has this fine line between supporting the weight loss and keeping from saying how bad I let myself get. To be fair he can't tell me I am fat, and he also has to walk the tight rope , because hell I am a woman, and I would get mad at him if he focuses on my getting skinny, because then "you didn't love me when I was fat" would more than likely come up. So I do have to lay off him, he is the one that takes care of all the money each month, so I don't have to worry about it. But I will work an extra day or 2 a month and give him the money so he will feel better about that. I love him and I know he loves me, I married him knowing he is not the romantic flowers, cards, and candy type of guy, he is the guy that shows his love and rarely says it. Sure I sometimes wish he had a romantic side, but i once had romance and turned out its not all its cracked up to be when you get flowers but the heat or electric is turned off because someone "forgot" to pay it. I definitely love the security my husband gives me and sure his cheapness annoys me at times, but he does keep everything in order, and I will never have to worry about a bill not being paid with Ryan around.

So if you know my husband you know he has a good heart, a wicked sense of humor, honest, loyal and is a wonderful cook, but sensitive, romantic, are 2 things he definitely isn't. but like my mom when I do lose the weight and when the time comes he says "you are looking good" I know he will not be blowing smoke out my ass he means it! And sometimes I have to appreciate that Ryan never says things he doesn't mean.