Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year new me!

This 2009 was a good one for me. The best part of the year was my new gorgeous baby girl.



I can not believe she already 6 months old, she is such a roley poley happy baby.

The second thing I am most proud of is my new self. Six weeks after I had Sophie I weighed 252 pounds. I felt like crap, I had to go to a plus size store to buy clothes, and I wasn't the smallest size there even. I had to take a shirt back because 18/20 was too small. I bought a size 20 pants! I hit rock bottom the day I looked around at my family and saw I weighed more than everyone in it, including my 6'3 brother.

So thanks to my parents I joined WW, the first week I cried, pouted, and complained. I did so much I also anounced my weight not just to blog land, but to EVERYONE. I started this blog, joined a gym. Started cooking new and exciting things. In the almost 5 months since I started this journey I lost 60 pounds. I have just 40 left! I also am not longer obese, according to the BMI calculator I am now overweight. I also took what is your real age and I came up as 30.9, I just turned 31 on Christmas so I am even doing well with that.

There is one other thing about 2009 I am very proud of I speent 2009 smoke free! I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant with Riley, but I am ashamed to admit I started up after I had Riley. When I found out I was pregnant with Sophie I quit again. This time with new determination, that I will never start again, and I haven't. Now with all the excersise I seriously can't ever again because there is no way I could run a half marathon and be a smoker, but I can not be 252 pound half marathon runner either!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Weigh In day....

5.2 pounds!!!

Seriously, I know it is for 2 weeks. So I don't know what to think or how it happened. But yes 5.2 pounds I must really focus the next few weeks because if i can LOSE 5.2 pounds the week of Christmas and my birthday....well then I can do anything!


WOOOHOOO 5.2 pounds lost=))))))))

Monday, December 28, 2009

The week! and 39 points earned!

Okay so to begin, why I didn't have a weigh in last week.

Last week my husband called me after work and said he HAD to go shopping on Tuesday(my WW weigh in day), and no other day would work. At first I was okay with that, I will just bring the kiddo's. Then I realized all my WW stuff was in his car. So then it was a big ole fight, that he didn't care and why did he have to go on Tuesday when he knows its the one day I do something, well you will soon find out why I had to eat those words...So anyways I didn't get to weigh in.

Wednesday was a crazy day Riley and her friend went to Chuck-e-cheese, and had a ton of fun, then we finished off last minute Christmas shopping.

Thursday was Christmas eve. The entire day I spent doing laundry, and packing and last minute wrapping. Following with Christmas eve dinner at My in laws, with the traditional Polish Wigilia. It is a meal with no meat, the fish my Mother in law usually makes is fried. My wonderful sweetheart of a husband brought my favorite Cajun seasoning, and broiled my fish. He also made me my perogi's a healthy way not fried in sticks of butter like everyone elses. Then Santa came early and surprised my both me and Riley with Bikes!!! Yay!! I have my very own bike now=)) The reason I am eating my words from the fight on Tuesday, he went to his union vacation savings plan to take money out and pay cash for them, they were only open on Tuesday, hence the reason he couldn't be home in time for me to go to WW. Wow I am a bitch for saying he doesn't care=((

So then after that party we left Buffalo at midnight drove all night to my parents house in Michigan. Got there had a happy WW friendly breakfast opened presents, then Ryan and I crashed for a few hours. We woke up had a few more presents ate out Turducken(AMAZING!!), drank to much wine(my favorite kind!), had a great ww dessert, and a couple not so weight watcher friendly cookies.

Next day went out with my brother his girl friend and a few others, ate out and I was not so good, then went to one of the friends houses not so good again, but it wasn't my fault they had home made popcorn!!!

So I stayed on track I think pretty well I did not track, but I did exercise in all this. My dad introduced me to Snow shoeing! This is not easy and I was able to keep up and not embarrass myself. The first day it was easy in the sense there was only 3 inches of snow, but the walk we did was difficult. Then next 2 days there was a ton more snow, I sweat so much the inside of my jacket was soaking wet. Total amount of snow showing I did for the past 3 days was 2 hours and 40 minutes! That is 39 activity points I earned...in 3 days!

So all in all I consider this wee a success, I will know for sure tomorrow!

I missed you all and hope you all had a wonderful Christmas.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Happy birthday to me

and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone has a wonderful, safe, and happy Christmas. I will be gone for a bit but will be back to explain why I did not have a weigh in day this week.

Staying on track even today and tomorrow.

Monday, December 21, 2009

This is hard!

It is hard to choose the fish and not a giant hamburger with french fries.

It is hard to go to work on Saturday and not eat cream of chicken with artichoke soup.

It is hard to wake up in the morning get both girls ready and go to the gym.

It is hard to eat apple instead of chips.

It is hard to find good for you recipes that taste great too.

It is hard run when you feel like sitting on the couch.

It is hard to go grochery shopping and not buy some delicious baked good.

It is hard to not partake in the Sunday donut ritual.

There is so much that is still hard I still fight daily and will always. Somethings get easier with time, but the urge to binge eat is always there. There are times I still over eat, but atleast my house is filled with good otions so yes I can over eat but it is on apples with peanut butter, left over dinners, it is not ideal but it is better than oreos, donuts, and chips.

So everyday is a struggle, and somedays I win, and every week of this journey I have started I feel I won because I lost weight. I still beat myself up because I know I could do better, I did not track every day, and I have not worked out yet today.

I will continue on, but I am not always happy. I want to make Christmas cookies with Riley and have her decorate them, but I know if I do that I will eat half of them....so we don't=(

All these things are hard, but not as hard as it is to be fat!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Nope never going to eat like that again!

I would like to thank another one of my really good friends for this blog idea. I was talking to my favorite mommy friend, if your a mommy I am sure you have one, the other mommy who has little ones at home and knows what it is like to not have adult conversation for hours, so you talk pretty much every single day. Well this friend was talking to me about my weight loss, asking me if when I lose all the weight will I eat certain things again.

I had to tell her no never again will I ever eat like I used to! We were discussing eating out, and how with my new healthy life style it is no longer fun. There are 2 main reasons, eating out with a 2 almost 3 year old is a fight, keeping her entertained and happy is nearly impossible. The second reason is the biggest, I always know what I will eat before I walk in the restaurant door. What I get is usually one of the 3 healthy items, all which I could make better.

So talking about this my friend totally understood the first reason, but the second confused her, she wanted to know why I could not just sometimes cheat. I told her sure there will be times I go out and enjoy myself but I will never eat bacon cheese fries, or awesome blossom for appetizers, then some cheesy creamy sauce over pasta, and finish it off with a dessert topped with ice cream, caramel, and chocolate. And that was a normal meal for me, and I would eat every bite.

So the answer is no I will never cheat, I will always order food that is on the healtier side, I do not ever see myself ordering anything fried, cheesey, creamy, or breaded ever again. And to be honest I am okay with that, I have learned to enjoy new falvors, and new tastes.

My best friend is home!!

My best friend lives in France, and she is home for 6 weeks. I am so thrilled she is one of those rare people you meet and instantly and forever are best friends with. I have three of those in my life, my sister, husband and Julia. I met Julia when I was applying to work at the Cheesecake Factory, and we hit it off, and have been the closest of friends since. Even when she moved to Spain, and then France we still talk all the time. So you get is she is the best I could talk about how wonderful she is, just like I could tell you about my amazing husband and the best sister I have, but I will not bore you with the details...you get she is awesome.

So she is home, and her dad signed her up to join the gym I work out at, I am so excited because meeting up with someone is the motivation I need still. But her dad is buying it for her in hopes she will learn to like exercise. I hate to inform her I do it now it is habit but I still hate the actual act of working out. What I am addicted to is the feeling I get after I work out. That feeling of accomplishment that I pushed my body to do something I couldn't do 19 weeks ago.

I had that feeling when I completed the turkey trot, I felt a high. I learned from my sister this is normal, its called a runners high. It is the reason I signed up for the half marathon. I figure if I felt that great after 5 miles, I can only imagine the feeling I will get when I finish 13 miles.

SO that keeps me working out, I hope that she feels something. I had worked out before, and never stuck with it because to just work out for the sake of working out is not fun for me. As long as I keep finding goals to try for I will keep going to the gym. Everyone has a different motivation, and I can encourage her and meet up and for this six weeks she probably will do it because it is fun to have me around (because I am awesome like that). When she goes back home to Cannes France(lucky girl!), she will have to find her own motivation to keep going.

But that is beside the point, my best friend is home for 6 weeks I am going to horde every possible moment with her till she goes back.

What keeps you working out?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Stuffed Peppers and salsa chicken!

Oh I have had 2 amazing dinners the past couple of days, one my husband swears is the best thing ever, and other I made and ate for the first time and can not wait to make again!

The First is salsa chicken with my additions...

So easy,
chicken breasts 3-4 depending on size roughly 1 pound
1 cup of salsa
Taco seasoning
cream of mushroom soup 98% fat free
Light sour cream
(next ones are my additions)1/2 cup brown rice
1 can black beans
few Jalapenos

Throw the chicken seasoning, salsa, soup, and jalapenos in the crock pot for 4-6 hours.

When 3-5 hours into the cooking add the rice and black beans and cook for one more hour. When done in the crock pot add the sour cream mix well and the shred the chicken. Then put over tortilla I like corn because they are healthier, my husband prefers flour.

It is so easy and my husbands favorite thing, he ate them for the next 3 days as well.

Next I had my first experience with stuffed green peppers, I do not know how I went my entire life without ever trying them, I love green peppers.

I kinda winged it and it turned out great.

1/2 95% lean ground beef
Uncle Ben's original rice prepared (I only added half the rice)
8 oz tomato sauce
Italian seasoning, add as much or as little as you like, I added roughly 1 tablespoon.
small onion
4 oz (it was what I had in the fridge) mushrooms cut up small.
Salt and pepper to taste
1/8 cup parm cheese
3 medium green peppers

I prepared the uncle Ben's rice, then brown the onions added the beef and mushrooms and cooked till brown, added the mushrooms tomato sauce, seasoning, salt pepper, rice, then the parm cheese. I cooked till the parm was all integrated in. then turned on low, cut the tops out of the peppers and stuffed them full of the mixture. Sprinkle with a Small amount of parm and Italian seasoning on each one, cook in the oven for 45 minutes at 375.

Both I highly recommend, neither tasted like "diet food."

Today I have been doing well. Yesterday I did awesome, had 10 points to eat at night, and I ate my normal ice cream bar (2 points) half the target Popcorn(5 points), then discovered a new love of animal crackers and ate half the bag(8 points).

Seriously what is wrong with me I can not go one entire day, I did so well, even gave myself a ton of night snacking points...and I still went over my daily points.

Well today is a new day...I will do it right! I even worked out, which is easiers said than done knowing I am working tonight.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

What to eat?

I was reading a blog about what to eat when you do not have enough time. She ended up eating a smart ones and not enjoying it. I did that often when I first started my journey. Now it I do not do it so much. I have learned to pre plan and one days dinner of chili made double in size gives me a much better frozen food option for the future.

I just started once a week making soup in the crock pot....a HUGE amount of soup. We eat that for dinner then freezing the rest in pre portioned containers. Now 4 weeks into it I have a freezer full of chili, black bean soup, chicken noodle, and beef and vegetable. When I need to just grab something quick for dinner or lunch I make a salad and eat on of my soups.

I also started making extra chicken breasts. When I cook I make 4 chicken breast, Riley eats only 1/2 or less of hers so I have 1 and half chicken breast, that I use to throw on a salad. I have become creative with my salads, I can make apple walnut ones, Mexican ones, one full of veggies (usually eaten before weigh in day), I have my own version of an Asian one, all takes me less than 5 minutes to put together.

I find these things and easy fix for hunger and much better tasting than the Smart ones or lean cuisines, even though I always have a couple in my freezer I get the pizza ones, not the greatest, but better than eating pizza out if that is what I am craving.

I do not pretend to know all the answers I am still early on this life long change, but I have slowly been turning away from processed foods, someday I hope to be a food snob and turn my nose up at any and all of them, but I am not there yet. I still have my fiber bars, and WW ice cream treats.

Oh and it is Wed. day after weight in day the day I usually over eat, today I have stayed on track, I ran and did the elliptical, signed up for tomorrows, Monday and Tuesdays workouts. I really am going to focus this week to stay 100% on track, like I did the first 10 weeks of my journey. The last 8 weeks I refuse to say I have been bad but I have been about 75% on track, that is why I have been having okay losses. So goals this week....

1. Go to the gym 4 days I have 3 days set up with childcare, the forth will have to be Saturday or Sunday.

2. Do not over eat, stay away from the M&M's, and stay within my daily points, no flex points are allowed this week.

3. Stay positive not look at the pictures of me in my sports bra and get depressed by how fat I still am, but instead focus on how far I have come. In a sense do what Katie J is doing...fake it!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Weigh in and new Pictures!

Okay so I have been avoiding taking these pictures. I said I would start to take them in a sports bra, this is the first time since I was 15 I am showing my stomach. This would honestly be easier if everyone that read this blog were strangers, but I opened up and told everyone about my blog. So here they are pictures of me in a sports bra. I am doing this so I can really see the progress.




So weigh in went well it seems I am evening out on weight loss I lost 1.6 this week so I am now 198. I really really want to focus this week I want a nice loss, because the next week is Christmas, and my 31st birthday(yes my birthday is on Christmas!), I want to enjoy the Turducken my dad is making.

Editing to add, if you need any sort of motivation, visit Laura's blog and see her before and right now pictures.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Running is going well

Now that I know I completely trained for my 8k wrong, I am doing great at this new one. I have gotten in my three days of running and 2 days of elliptical in this week. I earned 25 activity points this week, sad thing my dad earned 19 points in one day snow shoeing....I think I need to take up snow shoes!

Food wise I did okay I tracked 5 out of 7 days. I am using my "extra" points more now. Also soon Sophie will start food so all those calories I burn from nursing will be gone. It is a little sad this is the only time in my life I can burn 500 calories a day from sitting.

I haven't been able to blog as much as I used to. My baby is getting older and doesn't allow me blog time when Riley naps anymore. But I am still plugging away. I am looking forward to this half marathon so much.

The biggest new I have is...I have a pair of size 10 jeans and they fit!!! I know I am not a size 10, and the ones I have are big(in fact the waist is the same as a size 14 skirt I have, I held them up to it), but just to be in a 10 means in a month or 3 I will start fitting in single digit pant sizes....HOLY CRAP!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Marathon support

I want to thank everyone who commented on my previous post. I appreciat all the support you are giving me.

Now my plan I kinda went over it but in more detail. I am doing a 10k training program, I am starting from the beginning. I have completed 2 days, it has 3 sessions a week, I am going to do that 3 days, then eliptical and spinning 2 days a week. The 10k training is pretty basic, but I need want to be able to run in 3-5 mile incraments, something I can't do yet. So I figure starting slow with this, starting from scratch as well will help in the long run(no pun intended). It really involves, this first week running 1 minute walking 2, repeat. The next week it jumps up to running 2 minutes walking 2 minutes...and so on, until I will be running 10, 20, and 30 minute stretches.

Then after the 12 weeks of that is done...I will start the 12 week marathon training program. From reading about this program it assumes you can run 3 miles, well I can run 3 miles with out stopping so that is why I am doing 10k trainging, then this one .

So that is my plan for the half marathon. I am 2 days into it and still totally motivated!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Second wind! Marathon traing!

So since the turkey trot, I have been kinda not with it.

People have been telling me how great I look, how proud they are, and all positive things about my weight loss. Well its great, BUT it almost made me feel like I was done...but I am not. Just 2 more pounds lost I will no longer be obese!! According to BMI I will be overweight. So this is motivating me, when I started this journey, I was considered morbidly obese, soon I will be just overweight. So now I can stop calling myself fat, I will be fluffy, not fat=) So all the compliments, all the joys of being under 200 almost made me forget that this is now just a new turn, now is the time I can go from fluffy to HOT!

So to jump start this new start...I signed up for half a marathon. May 30Th I will be running 13.1 miles. I have roughly 5 and half months till this day. I will do the 12 week 10k training program Laura gave me. And still have time to do the 10 week half marathon training program I found. So I think this will be entirely possible...I also plan on being 40 pounds less! I just have no time to "take a break" I have to keep going strong and not miss even a week of training.

2 hours and 36 minutes is my goal exactly 12 minute miles...I can do that, right??

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

EXCITING WEIGH IN! onderland!

Jan is the winner of my very first give away! Random generator #5 came up.


Now the best news for me I weighed in today at 199.6!!!!!!!!

Now my dad and I are doing a challenge if I win he is going to pay a month of weight watchers. I am not sure what I will have to do if i lose, but that will not happen so its pointless to even think about what I will have to do.

Monday, December 7, 2009

One last day for Give away.

Just a quick post to let everyone know there is 1 day left to enter for my first giveaway.

Friday, December 4, 2009

GIVE AWAY!! Free stuff !




So since no one responded to my question in my last post I am going to bribe blog world! You get one jar of Better'n Peanut butter, All you have to do is share....

Share a "diet" food you love, or recipe you can't live without. Leave it as a comment. If you want to double your chance just let your blog friends know with a link back to my blog. Post the link under comments.

Contest will end after my weigh in, on Tuesday. And unfortunately US residents only (sorry Laura!!)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Swap day at WW

Yesterday was Swap day at Weight watchers, most of the the stuff brought I knew about or wasn't really interested in. I did get a new recipe, I love crockpot recipes and this is a chicken and salsa crockpot recipe, I plan on making it tomorrow so I will tell you all how it goes and if I love it I will post the recipe.

But during the swap 1 item caught my eye, it is Better'n Peanut butter. If you live in the buffalo area I got mine at Dash's, but looking into it I see that you can also get it at Trader Joe's.

I tried it and it is good, not your Jiffy or Peter Pan, but is great(little more sweet not as peanutty)! Just wanted to pass it on to my fellow weight loss friends.

Does anyone else have an item that the found is amazing that you can't believe is "diet" food? I need more things like this I am getting tired of Fiber bars...please share.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

A loss is a loss

That is my story and I am sticking to it! I only lost .4 pounds. I am not happy with that but I would rather lose even if it is only .4.

Now I really want to focus back on getting under 200. No more 3 musketeer cand bars(yes I ate one before weigh in day!), no more 3 helpings of dinner, and no more mindless snacking.

2 small goals this week.

1. Go to the gym 4 times this week
2. Stay within my daily points.


I will do these, and I will be under 200.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Apple crisp!!!

One of my favorite bloggers and fellow Spartan asked for it....so here is the amazing apple crisp. It is from the Weight Watcher Magazine, and I did use splenda sugar and brown sugar.

1/2c. + 2 tbsp. all purpose flour
1/2 c. quick cooking or old fashioned oats (not instant)
1/4 c. brown sugar
1/2 tsp. ground ginger (I didn't use this)
1/4 tsp. cinnamon (I used 1/2 tsp one 1/4 in the mixture, and 1/4 in the topping)
3 Tbsp of light stick butter diced (and I let soften a bit)
1 tsp. water
1/4 c. granulated sugar
1/4 tsp nutmeg
3 lb apples ( I used Granny smith, the recipe says Golden Delicious or Jonathan. Peel and thinly slice the apples
1 tsp. vanilla extract

1. preheat the oven to 375 F. Spray a shallow 1 1/2-qt baking dish with nonstick spray.

2. To make the topping, combine the 1/2c. flour, the oats, brown sugar, ginger, cinnamon and a pinch of salt in a medium bowl. With a pastry blender or 2 knives used scissor-fashion cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add 1 tsp. water and firmly press the misture to form clumps.

3 To make the filling, mix the granulated sugar and the 2 Tbsp. flour, nutmeg, in a large bowl. Add the apples and vanilla: mix well. Tranfer to the baking dish. Sprinkle the topping over the filling. Bake until the filling is bubbling and the topping is golden, 55-60 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

I added light whip topping to mine instead of icecream. I also doubled the topping to give it more crisp!

But as is, it serves 8. 189 cal, 3 G fat, 1 G Sat fat, 0 G trans Fat, 5 MG CHOL, 64 MG Sod, 41 G Carb, 3 G fiber, 2 G Protien, 18 MG calcium. Points Value: 3.

We used the entire pan to serve 7, with very large portions.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

My Thanksgiving...

I was so good. I ate the green bean casserole I made, coliflower with no butter, turkey, and for dessert I ate the apple crisp I made. Apple crisp was beyond amazing, It had slightly more points because I double the crisp part.

So thanksgiving came and went. My parents came in and if you ever read this blog you know my dad is also a WW follower. So Friday I was one of the crazy people and went out at 5 am. My mom and I forgot to eat, and for dinner I made one of my favorite recipes, flank steak taco's I didn't add up my points but my dad's points were low so I know I was well below my points for friday.

Then Saturday came, that was my gluttny day!! We went to the local market and bought a 6 pound prime rib, for 4.99 a pound. Not exactly the most weight watcher friendly of meals. My dad made the most amazing garlic mashed potatoes, and oh I made the apple crisp again. No one but me really ate any of the first one, so it all worked out, I told you it was amazing). So I counted the poitns and I did go over, but still not crazy over, until I added the 4 glasses of wine I drank. Wine isn't bad but my 4 glasses were more like 6 servings, so 12 points there. Today I am going to the gym to work some of that dinner off!

So not a bad weekend, food wise the only excersise I got this week was cleaning and the 5 mile turkey trot on thanks giving. I didn't reach my goal I did it in 1 hour and 7 minutes. My husband did not train at all went out and ran it in 49 minutes. I am proud of him and I hate him for that! But it was fun, after our turkey trot there is a huge party with fruit, yogurt, water, and free beer, we couldn't stay for that because we needed to get home to the rugrats. Next year it will be something we plan for.

Sorry for the long time without a post it was a crazy weekend.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I opened THE box

Well if I needed motivation to get me through thanksgiving. Or if I needed a slap in the face to remind me how far I still have to go, I found it. I opened THE box. The one full of clothes I wore at 21. I am not sure what I was thinking but I tried some of it on. WOW I still have a good 25-30 pounds before I think I even want to look in that box again. It was a rude awakening, that yes I have come far, but I am not even close to my goal. And even when those clothes fit it will still be a ways off.

I am excited and happy with myself for 50 pounds, pretty much every clothing I have from the past 8 years now all fits. Any farther back is in this box, and this box makes me angry and disgusted with myself. I realize how out of control, how bad, and how delusional I was. I just want to scream. For the past 4 years I have lived the life I have always wanted, I have an amazing husband, he is gorgeous, funny, smart just about everything I could ask for. I have the 2 greatest adorable children. I am happy, and yet I ate I let myself go, to the point my husband didn't find me attractive, I couldn't play and be involved in my kids life. The clothes I just went through reminded me of all that. The box of clothes that do not fit yet and won't for a month or 3, remind me how many chances I had to lose the weight and turned my back and convinced myself I wasn't that bad.

That box of clothes is all 8 to 10 years old, stuff I will more than likely never wear again in my life even when I get that small. But it just reminds me how at one point I was a simple 25 pounds away from my goal. I was so close and I didn't take it. So I am going to keep that box, and not only will it all fit me again, but I will be forced to eventually give it away because it is all too big. It still hurts to know how bad I let myself get out of control.

I will be forever grateful to my dad, who gave me my life....twice! Because of him I actually looked in the mirror and saw myself for what I had become. And because of him(and my mom) I was able to go to that first weight watchers meeting. And because of him I knew that I could do it, because if he did it so can I. And because of him(mom again too) I have a continuous support system.

But dad why couldn't you lose all your weight when i was 200? not 252...then I would have had such an easier time....jeesh=P

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Good week not Great

Down 2.2 pounds. I hit 50 pounds lost, but still 2 pounds from being under 200. I will get that next week!

But YAY for 1/2 way to my goal.

Oh and I can put off taking a picture in the sports bra for 1 more week.

Thanksgiving anxiety.

So this week I am going to be facing my first holiday of eating right, the anxiety I am feeling is insane. I have a mother in law with the best of intentions, she is also a great cook, but everything is loaded with fat and butter, she actually said she thinks Paula Dean uses too LITTLE butter.

That is where I am going for Thanksgiving, Mashed Potatoes loaded with whole cream and butter, stuffing with even more butter, Green bean casserole made with bacon fat to "add more flavor", gravy that is pure fat, and 6 different pies, The only thing she makes on thanksgiving that is weight watcher friendly is the turkey. I have a plan I bringing a green bean casserole of my own from a weight watcher cookbook, I am also bringing an apple crisp from the WW magazine. But that still doesn't help the anxiety. It is the fist time I will be facing down loads and loads of food, food I would eat 2-3 servings of in previous years. Then follow up with 1/4 of a pie. This year I have a plan, I am just worried, what if the fat ass Katie takes over?

I really wish my parents were coming in and I could make the dinner myself, I could make everything WW friendly, but that will be next year. This year I just have to stick to the plan. I wish I just could get rid of this pit in my stomach, I wish I could just skip over telling my Mother in law, "no, no thank you" 500 times.

Weigh in day is today so I will let you all know later if it is a good, or a great week.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Broken chair

I was reading Diane's blog about her broken chair and got me thinking about what happened to me.

This summer I would "play" outside with Riley pretty much that involved me sitting in a chair watching Riley play. I would use the excuse that I had Sophie, a newborn sleeps most of the time, I could have put her in her car seat, bouncy seat or on a blanket, but I didn't I would hold her and have Riley play around me. One day after pushing Riley in the swing I got my chair opened it up, sat, and the chair ripped in half with my arse falling to the ground. It had to be funny, if anyone had seen. My large arse fallen in my arms and legs out and me stuck(the baby was sleeping inside).

I chalked it up that the chair was worn out from being outside, that is what weakened the material. I too put the blame on so much else, when my husband saw it I made a joke of it, he knew, and I knew. Every time I sat in a chair after that I worried it would break. That incident did not start my journey though.

Now I look back and see that 250+ woman and know my weight is what broke that chair. Funny thing is now instead of sitting in chairs outside I actually play with Riley. I chase her around and the only time I sit is because Sophie needs to nurse.

I am glad some of those things happened, they remind me that I am doing this for so many reasons.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

funny thing I have been noticing.

So I have noticed, all my long sleeve shirts the sleeves are in insanely long on me. I put them on and feel like a child again folding the sleeves up.

That is all.

Work out work out eat righ eat right.

So that is my week. I have been great I went over my daily points by 1.5(I counted the Mojito even though I didn't drink it all) the day of the movie but I have not gone over since. I have worked out every day I haven't had to work. I ran a 5k today in 34 minutes. So I figure if I can do that on thanksgiving and even then just walk fast the last 2 miles I can definitely do this in under 1 hour.

I was so excited to go to weight watchers and step on the scale, till I read Jack's blog, and he was super good this week and only lost .3 pounds. I hope that this will not happen to me. I really want to hit 50 pounds lost, and even more I would like to see onderland.

Friday, November 20, 2009

No popcorn!

I did have a Mojito before though, but that is 3 points, and it wasn't that good I should have just ordered a glass of wine. You know what I did with the mojito didn't drink it. I didn't love it so I didn't drink it just because it was there. That is a new thing, not finishing my food and drinks. I think we are all programed to eat what we order, but now I realize no I shouldn't eat everything.

Before I started my journey I would wait on tables with skinny girls ordering really fatty meals, like chicken carbonara, that is 1700 calories and 120 grams of fat, they would eat some and not want it boxed. I never got that it was a waste of money they should eat it or at least take it home. I don't think that anymore, now If I splurge I will eat till I am full, and then the splurge is done, there will be no taking it home for later. I did that with the mojito I ordered something that is a splurge, didn't LOVE it so I didn't drink it.

I am feeling in control. I am getting a little nervous though, and a little excited, today at the gym I stepped on the scale in just my bra and underwear, and moved the levy to 200 and BAM that is what I weigh. I wonder if weight watchers will let me weigh myself in my bra and underwear. So I am a little nervous because if that is what I weigh, then I have to take pictures in my sports bra...I don't feel ready for that. But I still have till Tuesday!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Too popcorn or not....

So today like many desprate housewives I am going to see the New Moon premier with friends. I am a dork who loves the books, even though I do love Jacob so much more than Edward.

But before like most girls night out we are grabbing dinner, we haven't decided where so I know what I will order at, Chili's, Friday's, Olive Garden, those are the 3 places closest to the theater so I figure we will be hitting up one of them. But I am not sure that if you read far enough back and know my love of movie popcorn. I seriously could eat movie popcorn and only movie popcorn for the rest of my life, with butter of course. I will have to touch into my flex points to have that small movie popcorn, and to stay full for the day. I am working out today but that is to work off the cookie yesterday. If I didn't eat that cookie yesterday I would definatly get popcorn. But I really really really want to lose 2.2 pounds this week and I want to take zero chance that I won't. So that means staying on plan. And unfortunatly eating popcorn does not include that plan. So I guess I talked myself out of it. I want to be skinny more than I want Movie Popcorn. WOW that is a first.

So there it is this blogging worked today, I was able through this post decide that I will not eat Movie popcorn, tomorrow I will let you know if the smell wins and I stick with that plan=)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Old habits die slow=(

So for most of the 15 weeks I have been working at this I have went out after story time, we would go to Panera I love love the Fuji Apple chicken salad, it is a bit high in points, 10 points to be exact. But I know every Wednesday I will be eating that so I plan accordingly. Also every Wednesday Riley, and Addie split a meal, and a cookie, Addie never eats her half and Riley today didn't eat her half either today. Today before I knew it, I ate the cookie. So I really am not beating myself up for eating the cookie, because I do allow myself treats now and then. I am beating myself up because I didn't even want the cookie, it was a shortbread cookie, not my favorite, I also literally finished it before I even realized it.

I am not sure if this has happened to anyone else the surprise eating, eating something you never intended? Well when I came back home I tracked that cookie....350 calories 21 grams of fat! I could have eaten 3 100 calorie Chips Ahoy cookie packs, 2 skinny cow ice creams, 3 apples with a little peanut butter, instead of that 1 cookie that I didn't even want/enjoy.

This is a habit that I used to have one that I thought I controlled, mindless eating. The cookie will not ruin my day, but it does make me realize just as I feel things are under control....well it is still a day to day struggle.

Well I refuse to beat myself up about that, I just know that I have to do what I used to, if Riley doesn't eat something that looks good, I have to get it out of my sight, throw it away as soon as possible or if I want to take it with me for Ryan, I leave it in the car till he comes home.

The cookie will not win! I will work out 9 points tomorrow! I have a gym time set up, I will do 5 points there, then do 4 miles when Ryan gets home another 5 points there. Maybe that will teach me to not eat something I don't even want=)

Oh I did Pilate's today and wow that is hard, just when I start to feel better about myself I find out my stomach has no muscle, I could only do about 1/3 of the stomach exercise correct, the other times I had to "cheat."

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Had a decent loss but....

Good news is I lost 2.6 pounds this week. Bad news is I have to lose 4.2 pounds this week to be under 200 when my parents get here. Good news though if i lose 2.2 pounds I will reach 50 pounds lost, half way to my goal weight.

So I think the good out ways the bad. Going to work hard this week everyday I am not working I will walk/run at least 4 miles. I will not use my flex or activity points. I will reach the 50 pounds loss, the being under 200 I will give it my all.

I also set my official goal weight at weight watchers, 152...100 pounds less than my first weigh in.

New motivation

So this will be a double post day. Today is weigh in and righ now I am avoiding the very large laundry pile that needs to be folded.

So the other day on face book a few of friends all decided we needed to lose weight. So we start a group that for the next 2 months who ever loses the largest percentage gets a small incentive from the other 3 ladies. As I expected I have the most to lose, by a ton. In fact one girl in our challenge weighs my goal weight!

The other part to this is all the women in this challenge I went to High School with. Now in High School I was the dork, I had serious issues, I wanted to be every ones friend to the point I ended up annoying people so no one wanted to be my friend. I was basically severely insecure and would try so hard that people didn't want to be around me. This isn't a pity party for that Katie because she wasn't an innocent, I would also inspire drama, and well I lied all the time about stupid idiotic stuff. So you get it, I was a huge dork, that doesn't have many fond high school memories. I will say it is strange I ended up married to the captain of the football team.

My whole point by telling you this is it is very strange for me to be in contact or even doing something like this with people from High School, now the ladies doing it with me were never my problem in fact they actually put up with me more than they should have. One woman even mentioned that I didn't have my maiden name out so she didn't even realize who I was. I did that on purpose, there is a period of my life I am embarrassed by, I am not that same Katie.

So to wrap it up I think I feel good that this little challenge I think it will help keep my momentum going, especially through the holidays. It also helps that former insecure High school self feel just a little involved, even if I am the fattest one.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Turkey trot in 2 weeks

Okay I am getting nervous about the turkey trot. I have been working on a running program that a fellow blogger sent me, But I still don't feel secure in it. When I signed up for it I wanted to finish it in less than 1 hour. I am not so sure that is a possiblity. I also wanted to run the entire thing. I can run 3 miles, but at the end feel totall drained, I am not so sure I can run all 5 miles.

So I mapped a 5 mile run around my house, I am going to do that 3 days a week, I also know when mile 1,2,3,4 and 5 is. So my goal is run 3 miles, walk fast 1 mile, and run the last 1 mile. I am shooting for 13-14 minute miles, so to do it all in 1 hour and 7 minutes. Completely doable, I probably will be able to do it in less, when I do my 3 miles I can do it in 37 minutes just over 12 minute miles, so that gives me 30 minutes to finish the last 2 miles.

I should have worked harder....grr, but no use looking back. I will just focus on the next 2 weeks!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I think I am being hit on!

Or at least being flirted with. Now I know I am married and shouldn't find this all exciting but it is. Today I was watching the game on the t.v.'s at work talking to one of the cooks about my fantasy football team. When he asked me to go have a drink with him, and watch the rest of the game. I said, "well I would but i have 2 kids and a husband waiting at home for me." He was embarrassed and apologized. I told him don't be silly it made my night it was the first time in 4 years a male, besides my husband, hit on me! I also have to mention he also asked me when I started, I have worked at the Cheesecake Factory for 2 and half years.

See not only am I becoming attractive again, I can't wear my wedding ring. It falls off so easy. I want to buy a chain for it so I have with me all the time. But like pants I don't want to have to pay to have it sized down only to have to do it again down the line.

I have lately noticed funny places I am losing weight, my fingers and feet are just a couple that have been getting skinny too!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

New pants.

Today I wore pants that I bought 3 years ago! Pants that never fit. And when I mean never fit I mean there was 6 inches from button to button. They are the type of pants that also have no "give" they don't stretch at all, like jeans and some khakis do. So today I wore them and right now just noticed they didn't even leave the fat marks. They are also just tight enough to remind me to not pick at french fries.

My friend also sold me her size 12 old navy jeans. Funny thing is I just washed then and they fit perfect, 1 day of wear they can slide up and down without buttoning them! I could be wearing some size 10 by Christmas. I wasn't say I will be a size ten but I can see a few old navy 10 jeans in my near future.

As I have mentioned before I have a strange body shape, so I am still a size 16 in dresses. I have an 18w dress in my basement that is huge on me, but not too huge so I am assuming a 16w would fit me perfect.

I am so excited for thanksgiving my mom is bringing some of her old clothes. I have no desire to pay full price for any clothes, so cast offs are good enough for me. I have no pride! I used to just buy clothes because they fit and no other reason. I would go to Old Navy, or some such store find a shirt that was long so no one could see my stomach if I reached, Wasn't so tight you could see fat rolls, not too loose I that I would look like I was wearing a tent(I now see they all looked like tents), and when I would find all that I would buy 3-5 of those shirts. Winter was my favorite season because big bulky sweaters, and sweatshirts could come out. During the summer I had Capri's, I haven't worn a pair of shorts in 4 years. I have to say part of me is a little worried about style and losing weight. As you can see buying for style is a completely foreign idea.

I have never, even during my skinnier days, been able to walk into a store and know that most everything will fit me. I am excited and nervous for that, excited because shopping for myself will be fun again, and nervous because I don't know what I will even buy. I am hoping this summer when the weight is all gone, my sister will be in town and can help me with this dilemma.

But as for now this is all a future thought. For now cast offs are perfect and I can't wait for new ones=)

Friday, November 13, 2009

stupid katie

Yesterday Ryan wanted Pizza again, so he we had Pizza, I did have 2 large slices, and one small one. I also ate 3 ice cream bars. The good thing about eating the 3 ice cream bars is I have nothing left to binge on all sugar is out out out. So Jen if your reading this I am with you on your no sugar 2 weeks. My only problem is I have a diet coke addiction, it has gotten better, but I still have two 2liters a week. I am not sure if I can give that up so easy.

So today my goal is to go work out when Ryan gets home. I have been really tired lately, I am not sure if it is because I haven't been working out as much as I used to. Or because earlier this week I spent 2 nights up reading the last Twilight book, or the fact I have a 4 almost 5 month old that sleeps in our room and won't let me sleep a solid eight hours. Lately she has been doing better she will soon be in the shared bedroom with Riley.

I don't talk about my kids much on here because it is a weight loss blog but I have to say looking at my gorgeous baby "talking" to her stuffed frog, there really is nothing like being a mom is there? The big toothless smiles she gives me every time I look at her makes the sleepless night worth it. She is getting big so fast, I can't believe she is my last baby, I wish time would slow down. My two year old is in the other room, and today she gave me a time out for not listening to her. And then when it was over she said "look into my eyes, listen to Riley, I WANT M's(m&m's)" I had to go back to time out because I wouldn't give her any.

Thanks for letting me indulge in a couple of my kids stories it is just that I think I have the best 2 little ones alive!

Goals for today.

1. No Sugar.
2. Go for a run, or to the gym.
3. Play outside with the girls.


Just a quick not to say I am so sad apple season is over, I am eating an apple sadly no where near the flavor and juiciness of apples from a few weeks ago=( Good news citrus fruit season is here! I ate an entire pineapple in 2 days it was so good.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

What my weight watcher leader said to me...

So I was talking to Traci my weight watcher leader. She was congratulating me on my weight loss, and just making me feel great! I then told her about how I am not worried about losing the weight, I know I can do it, I am more worried about keeping it off.

She told me something I was thinking about, she said I should become a weight watcher leader. You can't get fat if you are motivating and telling others they should follow you. So that is my goal, the pay from what I found sucks, but it wouldn't be about that for me. I know this is still 55 pounds away, but it gives me something to think about till then=)

Oh and if you didn't read my comments from my previous post, I just want all you ladies to know one thing I left out about my brother, he is single!! So if you can live in the middle of no where, ride a bike, ski, and love the snow and cold I have the man for you! Just know a vast majority of my brothers income goes to bikes, bike races, bike trips, and then the 8 month winter hits and the rest goes toward ski's, ski races, and ski trips.

There James! Did I leave anything out??

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

My big brother

So thanks to James my big brother I now can leave comments, and see who my new followers are (HI!!). So I am very excited about all that.

Now listening to James is not all bad, this may make up for the time he told me I could just steer a sled through the trees...btw I could not and now have a scar were I received 12 stitches because a tree hit me.

My big brother is pretty amazing too. I told you all about my dad I want to give you a quick bit about my brother. He is hilarious, sarcastic and the change he made in is his life is crazy. He does this biking called cycle cross, it is pretty crazy you can read about it at his blog here (do NOT click on the link about Tibetan burial...trust me DON'T!)

But this is not the James that always was, he was overweight for most of his late teen years all the way through his 20's. But not only did he just lose weight he became this crazy insane biker. This year he rode his bike to my parents cottage...350 miles there, and 350 miles back...he rode his bike 700 miles in one week. I think he earned a few weight watcher points with that.

He also told me the story of how he really wanted a cinnamon roll, so what did he do....rode his bike 90 miles there to get one, okay he said he ate 4 but you ride 180 miles you deserve 4.

Soon ski season will be here and he will probably ski to my parents for Christmas or something crazy like that. The past couple of years I see my brother as a different person, he is now the fit person in our family(sorry Colleen). I know I will never be James, but I would like to do a triathlon with my big brother next year(or at sometime in the future). I will never not beat him, but if I really work on the run maybe I could make up for his biking speed..hmmmm something to strive for=)

Oh one last thing before I go, people are noticing. So many people ask how I am doing it, compliment me, tell me what looks thinner. It almost is too much...almost.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

WooHoo it was a good weigh in!

3.4 pounds this week!!!!!

I needed that to push me. I have 6.8 pounds to loose to officially see onderland(under 200 pounds for all you skinny folks). I want to see that number before thanksgiving weekend. Not that a pound either way will make a HUGE deal. But I would love to have my parents come in and be 199.8 or less.

I was roughly 195ish when I met my husband. He looks at this picture of me, and wants that!



Best part is I am 10 pounds from that picture. It is so close. I am excited to be below it so I will officially be thinner than I was since I was 21 years old. It is so close. I don't even remember what it was to be less than a size 12. I have one pair of pants that are a size 10 and the will soon be the next goal pants. Crazy to think I could be a size 10 at Christmas. It is so close.

My goal is 16.6 pounds from now till Christmas. I want to see 190 then. This will take work. The previous 3 weeks I slacked I lost only 3.6 pounds, With a little determination this week I almost doubled that. So all it will take is to get my arse in gear.

Oh and to let you know from now on my weight loss pictures will be me in a sports bra. This is hard for me because I have not showed my stomach in 15 years. So in 6.6 pounds lost (working towards that to be the Tuesday before Thanksgiving), I will be taking a picture of myself in a sports bra. I hope it will be more obvious that the shirt pictures easier to see what I am doing.

Monday, November 9, 2009

work work oh and more work

So this week has been going well. Sticking with the diet. Exercise is okay, 3 days of it, not as much as I wanted but better than the previous 2 weeks.

My life is pretty boring right now with weight loss. Just doing the normal, work outs, eating the normal foods. Today it will be a tuna casserole

Btw this is a great website period for some idea's. I have made many items from here, I love the tuna casserole and beef stroganoff.

I guess that is all not feeling too chatty, I am sure something will come to mind soon enough.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

need some help from fellow bloggers

Okay I can not leave a comment on most blogs. Where I should be able to it just is a blank space. I can not write anything.

I feel horrible, because I have so much I want to say to everyone.

So if anyone knows what I am doing wrong let me know.

Oh and I woke up hurting today. It feels like I just started at the gym all over again. I think running outside is definitely harder. I plan on doing it again today.

I also went under my points for the first time in 3 weeks, I did NOT snack and snack and snack at night till I was over because I ate so much. It was only 3 points under, so I am not starving myself. It was a victory because I didn't feel the urge to eat more for the sake of eating more. I did this without Ryan here too!

I am starting to think exercise is my key to a good food day as well, I am glad I am getting back in the groove for both.

One last thing I want to announce ...it is very exciting, I HAVE RIBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

No gym but....

I ran 3 miles outside. It was the first time I have ever gone for the full 5k run outside. And let me tell you it hurts much more than a treadmill. First it is cold, second there are these little things called hills, and third I have no way to measure how fast or long I am running.

So I mapped 3 miles, ran the first 2 mainly, the walked the 3rd at a decent speed and finished in 42 minutes. I don't think that is too bad I want to shave 5 minutes off that in the next 3 weeks. So from now on I will be running outside getting ready for that cold Thanksgiving morning. I will use the gym as back up if it rains or Ryan gets home after dark. But my goal is to run the 3 miles outside atleast 2 times a week.

Okay so Ryan finally took my 210 pictures here they are....







230 and 220 pictures to compare


WORK OUT WORK OUT WORK OUT

Just yelling at myself to get my arse to the gym today....must go running the Turkey trot is in 3 weeks. If I plan on running 5 miles in less than an hour I must get working on it!

Everyone who reads this please comment with 4 little words




GO TO THE GYM!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks

my proof I am signed up now No turning back I am running an 8k.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Inspiration

So I was thinking about inspiration, motivation and things like that. If you read this blog often you know my inspiration is my Dad this time around. He is truly a great guy, I was always a daddy's girl, and I am pretty sure I was his favorite...sorry Colleen and James! Okay but seriously, my mom is wonderful, but I don't think she understands the pull food has over me. My dad does. I may be presumptuous with this, but I believe my dad knows the feeling of eating one meal, and already thinking of what you are going to eat next. He also gets the waste not want not mentality, I really don't need the last scoop of potatoes...but I don't want to trow it away so I will eat it. I think my dad gets the I can't just eat one small candy bar, because one will become 15. So when my dad lost all his weight it was an eye opener for me. And when he offered me the same opportunity, I took it.

I believe he knew that I was like him that if he could finally after 40 years do it he knew I could too. When they offered this time there was no accusation, no disapproval, just my dad(mom too) wanting me to be as happy as they are with the weight loss.

I also know my dad and I are similar in another aspect, we both start something, and are like a dog with a bone. Nothing will stop us we are too competitive to quit. When people notice we love it we like that positive reinforcement.

Now it comes to my dad maintaining, he will be my inspiration in that way as well. He has lost weight before, never this much and this healthy though, but had gained it back. I know this time he will keep it off, and if he can do it so can I. I also know if I struggle or even have a bad week, he knows those he will listen understand and most of all I don't have to be perfect. He won't bull sh*t me if I screw up, but he will understand. Even though I am in New York and he is in Michigan, I am so glad my dad is doing this too, and my inspiration.

The other day a girl I work with told me she joined Weight Watchers on line. She sees my transformation, and wants to lose as well. She is gorgeous too, and has no where near the weight loss I had to lose, but we have talked she gets the food pull. We talked about how we love food, and how we make the wrong choices, and how we can both over eat. I am so honored that she saw me losing, and wants to use me as an inspiration. The best part of her using me that way, is I don't ever want to let her down. If I gain all mine back, how can I support her to be the best she can be?

So in a round about way because I inspired a friend of mine, I now feel more inspired, it brought back my motivation to lose, something I was missing for 2 weeks.

I am so glad she did this for me(for herself too but mostly she did it for me), I only hope that I did the same for me dad. It is funny it is not competitive, its not like I want to lose more or beat them, I want both my friend to succeed probably more than she does! I want her to experience people saying how great she looks, because I know that she felt she could do it because I am....

So thanks dad and nameless friend but you know who you are=)))

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Girls are in bed.

Sorry for the quick posts lately. I haven't been bad just not as good as the few weeks I lost 3 -5 pounds. I feel better though I feel the motivation coming back. I don't fight the urge to binge all the time right now. So laying off sugar was a positive thing.

But I will tell you it won't last for too long, the week I decided I would take a break from it, was the week Wegmans put there Weight watcher Ice cream on clearance. Not all of it but the ice cream cones, ice cream sandwiches, and little single ice cream servings. All for 1.50 and to ad too it weight watchers is giving out coupons, 55 cents off, which they then double! So I was paying 40 cents for weight watcher ice cream. I didn't go totally insane but I do have 7 boxes of ice cream in my deep freezer. Oh and I bought fat free caramel dip for my apple addiction. I promised myself this week if I work out I can have either a caramel apple, or an ice cream. I still have to stay within my daily points!

Not sure if I ever mentioned this but I never watched the Biggest Loser in past years...mainly because I didn't want to think about weight so I ignored anything that had to do with losing weight. Well this year since I started my journey around the time the show started I watch it every Tuesday, ironically also my weigh in day! I just have to say I think it is starting to annoy me to no end. I like Shay and want to root for her, but if I was still in college, I would make a drinking game every time she cries I would make people drink, by the end of the show EVERYONE would be drunk. Then to add to that I would also make everyone drink every time a contestant or trainer shamelessly plugs a product...seriously who says some of the stuff they say. Anyone else have any annoyances about the show? Or am I alone on this.

1.6 down

Okay so if I just watch what I eat I lose 1.6 pounds in a week not bad. I also know if I just work a little and exercise 5 days 45 minutes each day, I can lose 2.6.

So I did my goal this week took the sugar out, now this week I am going to add back considerable amounts of exercises.

Tomorrow I will have Ryan take a new 210 picture.

Monday, November 2, 2009

so...

Things Have been going okay. Yesterday was a great fall day so I took Riley for a run in the jogging stroller/bike trailer. She had a blast and kept yelling at me to go faster. I could prbably finish a 5k in 30 minutes with her in the stroller. To bad the turkey trot does not allow them=(

Speaking of the turkey trot, my friend Gretchen had to bow out, she hurt her knee, so that leaves Ryan running it with me. It will either be super fun to have Ryan or he will piss me off so much we won't talk the rest of the day. It is a toss up my husband is in amazing shape, at my fattest I am sure(and even know in some cases) people wondered what he was doing with me. He is very fit is the point, he can run 8 minute miles without even working at it, he just runs that as his slow speed. So if he thinks that is what I will be able to do he will be disappointed, and I will think I am not good enough, and a fight could happen. Or he will run with me say I am doing great and cheer me on, motivate me but not annoy me, and we will finish faster than I excpected and I will rave he is the best husband ever.

So I am a little worried about how it will go.

Diet has been going well, but truth time will be tomorrow.....

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Day by day...

So it has been going good, I can't say great but day by day has not been too bad. I have stayed within my points for the past 3 days, but I still have not worked out. I worked the past two days, one day food running so that counts for something, right??

I am also excited because yesterday at work I wore pants that fit me, and a shirt that my friend Julia gave me when she left for France(that finally fits YAY), and 5 people said something about my weight loss. For the first time in this journey people that had no idea that I was even losing weight noticed it. One manager even asked if I was sick because I lost so much weight in a short time. Dana is now my favorite manager!!

So I am feeling pretty good, but it was slow yesterday and I found my self grabbing fallen french fries. I really need electric shock therapy at work....every time I grab a french fry I get electrocuted=)

So today I will be hitting up the gym, but I did make a yummy big breakfast, eggs, ham, and potato's....12 points total...but oh it was good! For lunch I will have fruit and a veggie burger, and dinner is chicken fajitas. I will end up well below my point value if I stay on plan.

I am taking Riley trick or treating, but I learned of this wonderful plan by a local dentist. On Monday we take all the candy she doesn't want to this dentist, turn it in, Riley gets prizes, for every pound turned in. Then all the candy is sent to the troops in Iraq. So that is were all the extra candy is going. I will let Riley have her M&M's, I will let Ryan pick a few of his favorites to keep in the car....the rest will go to Iraq=)

PS I have no idea why comments are not working...if anyone can tell me what to do aislynn01@msn.com is my email...thank you!...edited to add guess it works now!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Confessions...

So I don't know what is going on with me. I really need to snap out of the funk I am in! I didn't have any clean work out clothes so I didn't go again...Tuesday, Wednesday, and now Thursday I have made excuses. Even as I am typing this I am trying to justify it in my head.

Not only did get out of my workout groove. I also have been cheating myself. I am sure it is obvious to anyone who follows my blog, I can lose consistently 2+ pounds a week, last 2 weeks have been 1.6 and then a small .4, here is the truth I have been sneaking food. I bought candy corn, and every time I walked past the bowl I grabbed a handful, just to let you know I threw away the rest. I also bought a ton of weight watcher ice cream. The 3 point candy bars are amazing....a little to amazing I have eaten 2 and half boxes in 1 week. Not to mention I have been grabbing a bag of my husbands sun chips. To top it all off I have only been tracking about 50% of these things.

I want to say that it stops now, and mean it. I have no idea why I am slumping like this. In fact my husband had to enter the dinner in for me last night. For the first time in 12 weeks he took this active interest because he sees it happening. I need help from you all that have been there done this....how do I snap out?

I have yet to gain any weight but I know myself, if I continue on this path it won't be long till I am so far gone I will just give up yet again.

so the rest of this week I am going to take it like I did my first week. One day at a time. I started this morning with pancakes, lite syrup and banana....4.5 points, Lunch I am going to the mall with Riley for trick or treating, I will go to subway, and get the Buffalo chicken sub. One day at a time right now....

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Congrats to my dad!!

I just want to say congrats to my dad, he is the one that started me on the journey. Today he called me with the great news that he reached goal!!!!! I am so excited for him, not just that this is the size he was when he played High School football, but also health wise. He was at his Doctor and everything is down for him. To me the weight loss for my dad is great but to know he is now so much healthier, and with us for longer makes me get a little teary eyed. We are not a touchy feely family, but this makes me wish I lived closer so I could give him a big hug. I am so glad he encouraged me to do this, it is because of my parents that I really had to look in the mirror and see myself for what I was. It hurt at the time but it feels so great to be doing something about it.

I did only lose .4 pounds, but these past 2 weeks have been a bit slacking, at the gym I have only been running. Only 5 points of exercise a day, which I only did 3 days of. I also dipped into my extra points this week. I also have to stop the sugar, for 10 weeks I was able to control it, lately with sales on both weight watcher ice cream, and the 1 point bars at meetings, I have been eating way too much. So tomorrow when I go shopping its back to tons of fruits and veggies.


Here are a few before and after pictures of my dad...

March 2008



March 2009 him 3 months into weight watchers.



And finally a picture of him from August of 2009. I wish I had a more recent one but you can see the huge transformation here still.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Getting better at this running thing=)

I ran a 5k on the treadmill in 37.23 minutes, 25.23 I ran. I also am picking up the speed of what I run before i was doing 5 miles per hour, now I am running at 5.5, and walking at 4.3 mph.

So the exercise didn't suffer horribly because the girls were sick and I could not take them to child watch. I am 100% sure I chose the right gym if you remember I was deciding between 2 gyms, I chose the more expensive one with child watch I am so glad I did. These past 2 weeks with the sick girls Ryan had excuses 3 days of why he couldn't watch the kids and I could not work out. I love him but if I had joined the cheaper gym I am sure I would be lucky to work out 2 days a week.

Oh I am happy to announce the dress I talked about in this post. No longer fits, it is too small=)) YAY!!!

I also went and tossed all my old clothes out, well I actually gave them to my sister in law, told her if she can't use them then just throw them out. I don't want any 20's or 18's to ever be in the house again!! Size 16's are pretty much working there way out the door as well, I would say mid November they too will be out for good.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Excuses...

So Ryan took Riley out, and Sophie is still sick and sleeping a ton, So I went hunting in the basement.

I started going through boxes of clothes I used to wear, some recently and some as far back as college. I started thinking how all those clothes ended up in boxes. I talked about it before when you gain weight no one really ever tells you, with the exception of my mom, I gained over 50 pounds in 3 years without anyone saying a word about it. I was going through all the the clothes from that time trying on stuff, some fit some almost fit, and some have a good 20 pounds still. Doing all that I realized how easy it was to lie to myself, I had 2 sweaters i put away I remember putting them away because the dryer shrunk them. Funny how I had wore them the previous winter, washed and dried them but the next fall I brought them out they were to small, not because of me but because of the dryer. I found 2 pairs of pants that didn't have buttons on them. I put them away not because I was so fat the button popped off, but because I lost the button.

Even if I had a moment of honesty with myself an acknowledged that I had gained weight I would still find ways to excuse it, by blaming the babies.

I also realized something else. I never finished I never let myself get as healthy as possible, I would start a diet lose about half the weight I wanted and then be done. One time in my early 20's I did really good I got pretty thin, and was on my way to looking great, looking at my clothes from then, most were 10's, and I found one pair of 8's. I remember buying that size 8. I remember thinking I am there I did it, and 2 months later putting them away because they didn't fit, then in another couple of months putting the 10's away.

I don't want this time to be like that. I have never finished before, that is why when people ask how much I want to lose I say 100 pounds it is a nice even number, but I have no clue what 151 will look like. The last time I weight that much I was a Sophomore in High School. The time I just talked about I was roughly 175, I want to take this journey not to a certain number but a healthy life. That is why the triathlon is important to me. When I complete that it means I have arrived at a level of fitness I have never been at before. Heck if I could complete a triathlon at 212 I would be happy at 212, but I can barely run 20 minutes right now, so I am not happy with it.

So looking through the clothes I also realized that I have never been fit, sure I did get thinner for about 20 minutes, but I was never fit. So I think this time is different because I am not just working toward losing weight.

I notice it also with my dad. I think he will keep the weight off this time because it is not just the number on the scale or the fact he is in a 34 pants for the first time in his adult life. But because I call him and he has to let me go because he is going for a jog. Or he rides his bike to work. The number on the scale is nice, the smaller clothes are great, but they are just a by product to the ultimate goal of fitness.

I guess my whole point of this jumbled blog was...

1. No more excuses, no more from me or anyone else!

2. I will no longer quietly box clothes up, I will be throwing them in the garbage this time when they don't fit!

3. The goal of this journey is fitness, health the amount I weigh is just a number, it will get smaller though the more I focus on the two major goals.

4. There is no end to this, before I fell into that trap, stopping when I bought a pair of size 8 jeans. This time when that happens I will jump up and down and call my mom, and probably cry a little, and then go to the gym and see if I can buy a pair 6 someday too.



40 down ???? to go=)

Pumpkinville

Yesterday was a great family day. We went to pumpkinville. Riley as you saw in the pictures rode a horse...twice. We picked out our pumpkin, bought a bushel full of apples, and for the first time did NOT buy any homemade fudge. We did get donuts, pumpkin fresh made ones, I had a first I only ate 1. Now before you think I was bad, I counted that donut before I even left, knowing I was going to eat 6 points, I did not allow myself my usual treats of a fiber bar, and ice cream at night. I stayed in my points when we went out to eat I ordered a salad, one with apples, goat cheese, chicken and walnuts, I also changed the dressing and got the lite dressing on the side, so I dipped my salad and ended up eating only half the serving they gave me.

We had two kids in dire need of naps so we didn't get to go shopping as much as we wanted but still all and all it was a great day.

Today is just a normal day, I am going to make a chicken and rice casserole. Lunch is a salad and a smart one meal. Breakfast was the granola, yogurt and banana, I haven't had that in ages I forgot how yummy it is!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

picture...

Me in 2008


Pumpkinville today...










Do you see any difference?



Thursday, October 22, 2009

I guess I am a size 14....pants!

Okay it is official I can say I only have one pair of 16's that still fit correctly. I have been taking all my size 16 pants on and off without unbuttoning them. I even fit in a size 12....an old navy 12 but its a 12.

Now this is all great I am sure some women reading this wonder how at 212 can I wear 14's and 12's....well the answer is how I carry my weight. As most women know when you first lose weight it is always where you need it the least. In my case I have lost most of it in my hips, butt thighs and legs. I carry all my weight in my stomach and chest. I have always worn a dress size 2 sizes larger than my pans size, so while I may be a 14 in pants I am still an size 18 when it comes to dresses. I have a friend and she is the exact opposite she has a teeny tiny little waist, and hips, butt and thighs, and when she would gain her hips butt and thighs would get bigger only making her waist look smaller. Me when I gain my stomach gets huge, my chest and shoulders carry it all, so I look extremely top heavy. My friend and I would always make jokes, if we took my bottom half and her top half even at out fattest we would have a great figure.

So to me I still say I am an 18, because the bigger number makes more sense, I tried on a 14 dress I had in my basement, it is not even close, and I mean it is like tight with just putting it on, the zipper is about 8 inches apart.....So that is my spring goal, in 6 months I would like to take a picture of me in that dress...zipped up even. I will just tell you though the dress is not very attractive and I would probably never wear it out in public, and once I can fit in it, it will be donated, but since I used to avoid dresses because buying a dress 2 sizes bigger than my pants was depressing, it is the only dress I can say I once fit in, and that was at my skinniest in adult life. So here is to my April 22nd post!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Mmm

So I have a new good dinner

Today I made gumbo. Oh it is so good. I bought a cook book from Weight watchers and have tried about 12 recipes and only one I wouldn't make again. Some are amazing...Chicken Carbonara, Salisbury steak, Mac and cheese, and now gumbo are just a few of my favorites.

One thing about eating healthy is I am trying new recipes like crazy. I used to make the same 5 meals over and over and over. Now they were all great, but Ryan was in charge of variety. Now I am doing it. I swear with some of the meals I make it does not even feel like I am watching what I eat. Today's dinner had 5 points a serving, I ate 1 serving before work and one now. True that a serving now is and ACTUAL serving not half the dish=)

I did have to cancel childcare this week at the YMCA, Riley now has the brunt of the sickness, today, and tomorrow I will not be able to work out. I have both kids all day and when Ryan gets home I have to go to work, Friday I will be able to work out regardless of whether the kids are too sick for childcare or not. I actually miss running, okay let me rephrase I don't miss the running, I miss the feeling I get when I finish.

So I am still grateful for the 1.6 weight loss but I am going to work to have a 3+ week. I still want to see a 1 in front of my weight by thanksgiving. It will be the first time my parents will see me in over 30 pounds, and I would like them see some serious results. I also want to fit into all my mom's old clothes. Nothing worse than being to fat to wear someone else's fat clothes!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

guess I am going to thank the nursing god's...

I lost this week

1.6 pounds

I guess I wasn't as bad as I thought, or maybe its the nursing, or maybe....I don't know I really didn't deserve it. But I will not test the scale again. I worked out and ate better today, tomorrow the same if I am really good next week I will get to take a 210 picture=)

Thanks all for the support.

Today I see the damage.

Today is weigh in day. The week has not been my best, I ate crap all day Wednesday. Then 2 sick babies kept me from working out(stupid excuse!!), I only worked out 3 days. I can't say I ate bad but I definitely was not as diligent as I should have been. I went over my weekly 35 points, and only had 18 activity points.

So today I will more than likely have a weight gain, it will be interesting to see how much 1 bad week will hurt. I have no idea why I let myself do this, it is not like it was a party week, or a holiday, or that I had a bad weigh in week last week, because none of those are true. I will say this regardless of what the scale says I have some things I will do differently this week.

1. I will work out 5 days, no excuses!

2.I will not buy weight watcher 1 point bars(I ate the entire box in 2 days again!)

3. I will eat more "green diamond" foods(it is a weight watcher thing)

4. I will work on controlling portion sizes. Eat seconds of veggies and salad not the main course.

Today was the start of my new week, I ate fruit for breakfast, a chicken salad loaded with veggies, 1/3 a chicken breast, salsa, and yogurt ranch for lunch. I will have some veggies as my later snack, then I am going to work out when Ryan gets home. Then it will be time to pay the piper, and step on the scale. I feel bad I am resorting to no extra sodium(aka no smart one meals or soup), I will wear khakis instead of jeans. I once said if I have to resort to tricks and hope the scale is forgiving I didn't work hard enough. It is so true this week I have never dreaded a weigh in day more.

To be continued

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm Vitalicious...and You Can Be Too! (GIVEAWAY!)

Just want to let everyone know Jenn has an awesome give away going!!

On second thought don't go there a better chance for me to win=)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Cost of eating healthy part 2

So back to considering eating healthy. I remember when Ryan and I both would work and we would just grab a pizza or a meal from McDonald's, Mighty taco, or even subs. All these would be cheap, fast food, around 20 dollars.



Now I get going out and grabbing something cheap and quick is impossible....wait no that's not right. Today at the the grocery store I was walking around picking things up and saw the perfect fast food! It is healthy, cheap, it is the Rotisserie Chickens, only 4.99. I also figured a 1.99 bag of frozen steamed veggies and a bag of 99 cent salad would round out the perfect quick and easy meal. An entire meal for everyone under 10 dollars!?!?! You can even do that at McDonald's.



So now I guess the only valid reason I can see for complaining about the cost of eating healthy would be lean meats are more. But I still see ways around that did you know that right now pork is insanely cheap, silly people seem to think swine flu comes from eating pork! So the cost of pork is sometimes half or even less than it was 1 year ago. Lean pork is just as good for you as chicken. So yes 95% lean meat is more than 80%...but that is not the only option out there.



And finally I will point out one more thing, eating healthy, eating less, and moving more always ends up a cheaper option, the cost of health care deductibles these days are insane!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Cost of eating healthy!

I am sick to death of hearing people say how expensive it is to eat healthy. I said that so much in the past and you know what I think about that now, its bull!

A bag of chips is the same price as a 3 lbs bag of apples right now. If i went to the farm and picked them even cheaper. The local farm here has pick your own apples .52 cents a pound. Pears are 3 dollars for a 3 pound bag. Add to the fact I could eat an entire bag of chips in 1 hour, and a bag of apples last me and my family 3 days.

I will also point out sure boxed potato au gratin, are 2.69 a box, a bag of frozen veggies are 1.99 some even cheaper. Certain in season fresh veggies are cheap as well. I can always get broccoli for 99 cents a pound. Fresh green beans I get a 3 pound bag for five dollars.

Lean meats, I will give you are more than the fattier meats, but I go first thing in the morning and can get day old value packs. I buy big amounts put in freezer bags. I also look out for sales I bought so much boneless skinless chicken breast when it was 1.39 a pound. So yes I will give you this is slightly more expensive but if done smartly it can be totally reasonable.

Now the one place where I have noticed eating healthy is more expensive is with "healthy snacks." Yes my weight watcher ice cream bars are insanely more than a pint of ice cream, but I eat 1 box a week, not the entire pint in 2 days. I also spend less on snacks my new ones are the fruits I mentioned before. So yes snack for junky snack the 100 calorie versions are more than the calorie laden ones, but I shouldn't be eating either.

I do all my shopping on Monday, then I do a supplement shopping trip on Thursday or Friday. I spend the same if not less than I used to before my weight watcher days. I just have more of the good stuff in my cart, I don't spend 1/2 of my grocery money on stuff I will just binge on. I do let myself have 1 box of weight watcher ice cream bars, 1 box of weight watcher portioned thin pretzel chips, 1 box of fiber bars a week, and sometimes like last week I bought 100 calorie hostess bars. Those are my treats I get every Monday, when they are gone I don't get anymore.

So I have to say to those that say the cost of eating well is too expensive you are just looking for an excuse. I used to say that so I know, My family of 3(4 if you count the baby but she is still just "eating boobies")we spend 100 dollars or less a week, and that includes all meals for all of us, Ryan's lunches, and 5 dinners a week( two days a week we just have left overs or Ryan fends for himself).

Shopping this way makes binging less likely. I still binged this week but instead of consuming 5000 calories, I consumed roughly 1300, not great but so much better than it could have been. I was also able to keep not only binging down but also was able to stay within my points.

I am still worried about this weeks weigh in...just 3 days to see how much damage I did=(

Same ole same ole...

Today was the same ole, eating, work out and work. Ryan took the girls to his parents house so I was home alone, I was so good it was scary. I really really am hoping that my screw up a few days ago does not cause me to gain. I shouldn't I am still under in points. But the scale at the YMCA isn't being too friendly.

The past few days I have been thinking about how I used to fool myself, I never have looked in the mirror and saw someone fat when I weighed 251, I thought looked the same as when I moved here at 195. Now that I let myself be in pictures(the mirror can lie, pictures can't) I see myself for what I really am, and now I am disgusted. . Funny that at 251 I was more confident than I am now at 213. I am now more aware that I am the fat one at work, that at the gym I look ridiculous trying to run on the treadmill, and in spinning class I am at least 50 pounds heavier than every person there, I am so very aware that I weigh 33 pounds more than my husband. All these things I would ignore, now 38 pounds lighter they bug me to no end.

I just hate so much right now, I hate that I crave foods, that sometimes I eat and eat and eat, past the point of full, I hate that I do not look like the woman my husband deserves. I hate that at work when people ask a table of mine "who is your server?" people say "oh I forgot her name she is the bigger girl." I am feeling so down about so much, after a great weigh in last week, I should be doing great, but instead I feel blah.

I want to see myself as someone in good shape, but just when I feel like I am getting there I catch a photo of myself, and want to cry. I have done so good 38 pounds that is awesome, but yet I have at least 62 pounds more to lose.

I guess the whole point of all this, is that at 250 I stopped caring, I could ignore it, I was fat who cares. Now after 10 weeks of hard work and 38 pounds lost I feel like I am still fat, I am still out of shape and no one even notices. At least at 250 I was enjoying tons of yummy foods, at 213 I eat healthy, and watch everything. I have no idea if this even makes sense to anyone.

Oh but I will say a comment left by Nay did make my day, I right this blog so I can stay accountable, so that people I know and don't know can read about my success and times I fail. I did it for me I never thought that I would inspire someone, and thanks Nay for saying that. This week has been tough for me, and its nice to know that I did something right. Hopefully soon I will run 8 min with you. I have 2 more times of 5 min runs, next it will be 6 min runs.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What I am noticing in my family.

Today I asked Riley, my 2 year old what she wanted for breakfast, she usually tells me a doughnut, then I tell her that is on Sundays only with daddy. Today she said, yogurt and an apple. I am so excited because I feel she is emulating my good decisions. This is what I want most out of all the struggles, I want my daughters to benefit from a healthy mother, for them to never struggle to make food choices. Riley LOVES apples, she likes them plain, with peanut butter, and today she wanted just a little sprinkle of cinnamon sugar. It really makes me feel good that she at 2 years old is making healthy food choices and doesn't even know it, it is just second nature to her.





Two months ago we always had doughnuts, muffins, sugary cereal, pop tarts, in the house. I would make french toast for Riley and I at least twice a week, now I grew up eating my french with a tablespoon of powdered sugar folded in each one. I was teaching Riley that.



For lunch Riley still has peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but now as a side she has piece of fruit of some kind with it. She never gets chips, usually we make a 100 calorie bag of popcorn to share, she loves that popcorn! She no longer has chicken nuggets and french fries every time we go out. The one day a week we do go out for lunch, she gets a Panera sandwich, yogurt, and water.



For dinner she eats what we eat, and is actually eating all her veggies these days. I used to make a veggie with the meal maybe 1 out of every 3 dinners, now there is veggies with EVERY meal. Riley at first ignored that portion on her plate, now she has seen Ryan and I eat them she has started as well. She even asked for more green bean "french fries."



I absolutely love watching my good food choices, making good impressions on my daughter. Sure she can still have her occasional treat, Ryan and Riley go out every Sunday to get a newspaper and a doughnut, that does not bother me, she can learn that a treat is something she can enjoy. as long as it is not an every day thing.



So yes I screwed up yesterday, then reading blogs I read one of my fav's, and she had a post about what is harder to be fat or to be thin. It really hit close to home after last night. Because it is true it is hard to turn down certain foods for me, but I would rather be the one that struggles to do it now, so that my daughters never have to struggle they make the right choices out of habit.



Off to the gym...spinning and then running...going to kick my own ass a little today=)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Don't want to talk about today.

Okay this is hard, I started this blog with the idea it will keep me accountable, the thing is I told everyone about it, my family friends and weight watcher bloggers all read it. The weight watcher bloggers I am not to worried about you all get it. My family, parents, and friends I never want to let down. My parents have been so incredibly supportive, I have had friends give me clothes for the future, I have had people I have barely ever talked to at work come up and congratulate me on my journey. Blogging world have been been there supporting me, Diane, Jenn, Learning to be less, Laura, and Jack, just to name a few. That is why this post is so difficult....


In 10 weeks I have been good, there have been times I ate things that weren't weight loss friendly, but I prepared for it by eating less during the day. I have eaten out and ordered the right things, and once even thought I was ordering good, turns out I was wrong, but I did do it with the best of intentions.

Today I not only ate all my points, but I ate all but 18 weekly points. If we are counting that is 55 points I ate today. I ate a good normal breakfast(4.5 points with oatmeal and an apple), then for lunch we went to Pizza Hut, for there buffet. To be honest I did better than I had in the past, 3 pieces of thin slice pepperoni pizza, 1 bread stick and 1 slice of apple dessert pizza(24 points). Dinner I had all intentions of just eating a smart one meal then I would have stayed in my points value, but no the left over healthy beef stroganoff was calling my name, after weight it I knew it was 1 and half servings so 11 points there.

So now if you are counting we are at 39.5 points only 1.5 points over my daily allowed, if I would have just stopped then...nope.

Riley get M & M's every time she uses the potty, for 10 weeks I have not touched a single M & M, today I cracked 1 that fell became 1 handful, 1 handful became a second much larger one, so I am counting that as 1 bag of M &M's 5 points.

Then I don't know why but I ate 2 packs of 100 calorie hostess treats(3.5 points), 1 bag of weight watcher pizza pretzel thins(2 points), 1 weight watcher ice cream(2 points), a fruit snack(2 points), and deli ham, yes deli ham straight up don't ask(3 points)....

For the grand total of 55 points today. I am so ashamed even while doing it I kept asking why, and couldn't answer why. I still have no idea, its not like any trigger happened that made me eat and eat. It could be Ryan is working nights, so he is sleeping in late waking up when the girls pretty much go down for a nap and leaves just before they wake up, so I have little to no breaks, nap time is when I clean, when Ryan comes home is when I take a few moments to myself. It could be Sophie is going through a growth spurt so she is nursing every 2 hours, so I am more hungry than normal. It could be I just am so bored even with both girls here that I am turning to food like I used to. Or it could be without Ryan here at night I don't have anyone "watching" me so i can just eat and eat.

It probably is all of the above. I need to find something to do at night till Ryan is back on days.

There is no excuse for what happened today, I feel like crap, like I just gained 10 pounds. I don't want any oh its okay its only one day crap, because I can not justify this. I worked my ass off for 10 weeks and I don't want to have anyone justify this for me. I screwed up, tomorrow I will be at the gym. My goal is to work out, make up the extra points I ate, plus some so that means instead of 1 hour a day I am going to work out 75-90 minutes a day.

So that was my f*ck up day!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It is a good weigh in week!

So I had to take off working out 3 days in a row, and I ate an entire box 1 point snack bars in 2 days. Yesterday I tracked everything at night, may or may not forgetting a thing or two. I ate McDonald's snack wraps(2 with no cheese) late at night when I got out of work.

And yet I lost big...4.8 pounds in one week!

The good is that I did work out 4 days this week, I stayed in my points, and I tried some new recipes. One last night was awesome tuna casserole, a healthy one. Today I am trying a healthy version of Beef Strognoff. I am having fun trying all these new recipes.

Second I left the girls with Ryan and worked out, I can't take them to the gym (too sick for childcare), but I needed out. So I went on the treadmill again, 20 min walk and 19 min 30 second run. I did the 5k loop under 40 minutes today. YAYAYA!! I am doing the 5min walk 5 min run rotation for 3 more times, then I will do a 4 min walk and 6 minute run.

All this is so exciting but, I am still not seeing it. And Ryan is still not really noticing it either. In fact only 2 people have even mentioned my weight loss and both knew I was working at it. i read a blog (learning to be less) about doing it for myself but at the same time I do want some notice. I have dropped 38 pounds and still have a long road in front of me I just want someone to notice that I have started.

Oh I do want to say I got some free transition clothes, my friend Renee gave me some of her sisters clothes. All are size 11/12, not wearable right now but with some work they will be by Christmas. My mom is also bringing some 14's and 12's. I should be able to fit in all the 14's at Thanksgiving, the twelves Christmas. We are 10 weeks away from Christmas , I want to lose 23.6 pounds in that 10 weeks, which would bring me to 190. The weight I was when I met Ryan, I think I was actually 193, but I like even numbers on the scale. Thanksgiving I want to see onderland.