Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The roller coaster

Some days I am thrilled with myself.

But then there are the days I look in the mirror and still see a huge stomach.

Some days I feel my collar bones, and new found hip bones, and want to jump for joy.

But then there are the days I realize I can still grab handfuls of fat on my back.

Some days I rub my back and notice that I no longer have a fat roll resting on another one.

But then there are days I realize I only got rid of the small roll, the big one is still there.

Some days I look at certain pictures and notice with glee I am missing a chin or 3!

But then there are days I still notice that there are still 2 chins.

Some days I try on clothes and pout because non of my old clothes fit, they are all to big!

But then there are days that I try on clothes my friend brought over, or that have been in boxes for 10 years, and they don't fit either...too small.

It almost seems like it is harder to be half way into this journey, I get all the joys of the shock and excitement, but I am still far away from the thin, marathon running, health freak I have pictured in my head. Right now I am still just Katie trying my damnedest to not eat the potty M & M's(Riley's reward for using the potty is M& M's).

To me it is a struggle every day. If I look back at the big picture sure I will say its not hard, if I can do it ANYONE can. But the day to day struggle, does get to me, the getting up and going to the gym, the picking the right foods, when all I want is the wrong one. The sitting down and writing all the food in, so I stay accountable. These are the things I have to do everyday.

In the end I will look back at this time, and be glad I did it, be glad I followed through, but I really want this first year to be done!

Darn I hate all the buts in this post.


Hallie said...

You're doing great! Keep it up!

The Curvaceous Conundrum said...

I just started writing my own weight loss blog and you were the first blog I started following because I found you inspiring. There will always be "buts" but keep in mind you are doing a great job and in that, you are inspiring strangers(ie:Me!) to do well too!

Tricia said...

I think we all struggle with the "buts". Try to stay positive, any progress is better than none. You've done an amazing job in such a short amount of time. Keep up the great work!

And thank you for the sweet comment on my anniversary post. I appreciate the support.

BEE said...

i just started reading your blog and i want to say your doing great keep up the great work holidays are always hard
be glad it wasnt 10 pounds like mine lol

i feel everything you say in your post about being half way through and it is almost harder then being at the beginning

thats how i have been feeling so i took a break for a week over the holidays gained ten pounds to realize i want to do this so i cna get to the end and mantain this healthy lifestyle and i just have to keep thinkin ok i still have rolls but i feel better and cna do more with my child thne at the beginning
its hard halfway through but keep pushing with me cuz we can do it